


JO-HWA

by thewritingmedstudent



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Crucible (Destiny), F/M, Fireteam Bonding, Fluff, Friendship, Game: Destiny 2: Forsaken DLC, Game: Destiny 2: Shadowkeep DLC Spoilers, Ghosts, Gunslinger!Hunter, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I've never been good at tagging smh, Like the slowest of the burns, Lore - Freeform, Mentions of Crota and Oryx, OC, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sentinel!Titan, Slow Burn, Some deviation from canon timeline, Stormcaller!Warlock, The Black Garden (Destiny), The Red War (Destiny), but he will be back, darkness vs light
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:14:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23001946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewritingmedstudent/pseuds/thewritingmedstudent
Summary: .//.Harmony..She was born from Darkness into Light. The Light raised her, but the Darkness claims her.A hero. A savior. The chosen one.A rouge. A liar. The bringer of death.The Traveler picked a human who could bear the Light. One who would be strong enough to act as the Guardian that would shield the universe from Darkness. In order to have such a strong aptitude for Light, however, you must have an equal aptitude for the Dark. This is where the idea of jo-hwa, harmony, is born.This is the balance.The key to saving the universe is understanding that the universe may not deserve to be saved.
Relationships: Cayde-6/Female Guardian (Destiny), Guardian (Destiny)/Other(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	1. ./BOOK OF CAYDE-6/.

> “Having faith in others, accessing forgiveness, and unconditional love is a theme for many Ace of Spades people.”

_**–The Cards of Life** _

**++++**

_Darkness. I was suddenly aware that that darkness surrounded me. A coldness that seeped into my bones and soul. A pressure that crushed me down. It felt as if I were sitting at the bottom of the ocean. Nothing but darkness above and around me. It never bothered me before, I don’t think. Yet now, it was all that was on my mind._

_The area around me seemed to lighten and I could see my hands. They were small, no scars or marks marred them. There were two freckles on my left forearm by my elbow. My hands. My arms. My elbows. Mine. Slowly, fighting the pressure with gritted teeth, I stood up. My bare feet dug into the sandy ocean floor, and it felt like I was sinking in place._

_There were others around me. I couldn’t make out details, and they weren’t close enough for me to reach out to, but I could see their shadowy forms sitting on the ocean floor._

_“_ Guardian _?” The voice was faint. For a second I thought I imagined it, but then the deep voice repeated itself, “_ Guardian _!”_

 _I lifted my gaze up, from where the voice seemed to be coming from, and saw light. Light. The depth at which I was at made it seem impossible for any sort of light to possibly reach me, but there it was. It was glowing and it was warm, and I_ wanted _it._

 _I_ needed _it._

_The pressure around me seemed to grow, as if it could sense my thoughts, and I pushed myself off the floor trying to swim up to the light. It took every ounce of my being to move my arms and kick my legs. The water was thick and intoxicating, and even though I didn’t have the issue before, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was like the water was filling my lungs, weighing me down further._

_“_ Guardian _!”_

_The higher I got, the brighter the light became, and the easier I was able to move. There was a warmth in my chest now that fueled me forward. I reached out for it. My fingers brushed the surface of the water._

_“_ Don’t leave _.” A guttural voice from the depths called out and a cold hand wrapped around my ankle. I opened my mouth to scream, but darkness rushed in._

“ _Guardian_.” I opened my eyes to a too bright sky and had to shut them again. Sunlight warmed my skin and my fingers dug into the dirt I was lying on. I sucked in a sharp breath and the tang of rusted metal and grass filled my lungs. “ _Eyes up, Guardian_.”

Slowly, my eyes fluttered open again. This time adjusting to light accordingly. Panic hit me like a train, and I shot up with wide eyes. I was in _trouble_ , I was in _danger_ , I was… I was… I _didn’t know_. It felt like something had been wrong, but the memory of what it was faded and slipped out of my grasp.

“It worked! You’re _alive_!” My eyes dragged across the still scenery of broken, rusted hunks of metal scattered across a cracking road until they reached the voice. It was a diamond shaped creature made of white and light gray triangles. At its center was a dark gray sphere with a blinking blue light shaped in another diamond with a circle in the middle. Each time it spoke, the triangles rotated around its core and spun in different directions. “You don’t know how long I’ve been looking for you.”

I reached out to it hesitantly and flinched when it leaned into my hand lightly. It… _He_? The metal against my hand was warm, and his voice was comforting.

“I’m a Ghost.” He said and his voice sounded excited. “I’m _your_ Ghost actually, and my name is Orion.” He floated away from my hand to hover around my head before settling back in front of me, “You… Well, you’ve been dead a long time.”

I blinked in surprise, “ _Dead_? But…” I lifted my arms. They were covered in ash and dirt, my hands were covered in a pair of black fingerless gloves but they were torn and ripped in some places. “I don’t _feel_ dead.”

Orion chuckled, “I brought you back. You’re _my_ Guardian.”

“What’s a Guardian?”

The sound of a roar in the distance prevented him from answering. He spun around, his triangles pulling in tight to his body, and then he looked back to me, “Oh, that’s not good. We’re in Fallen territory.” My confusion must have shown on my face because he added, “I know that doesn’t make sense to you. A lot won’t because you’ve been dead for so long, but we have to get out of here. This area isn’t safe.”

He floated ahead of me and, after only a brief pause of hesitation, I jogged after him. Orion spun around again, and I would’ve run straight into him, headfirst, if he didn’t suddenly disappear in a fizzle of blue sparks.

“ _Orion_??” I glanced around in panic.

“Don’t worry, I’m still with you, Guardian.” He assured me and it sounded like his voice was in my head. I lifted my hand to my ears but didn’t find an earpiece of any kind. “We have to get to the city, _fast_. Follow this path.”

I did what he said and ran through the lines of empty cars to where an abandoned shelter and wall stood. He ushered me through a broken-down door into the darkness. _Darkness_. That was familiar. I tried to think back on any memory I had before waking up to Orion, but nothing seemed to come to me. He said I had been dead before he woke me up. What had killed me and left me in this wasteland?

Orion managed to turn the lights on, and my eyes caught sight of creatures crawling around in the levels above me.

Where exactly was I?

What had I woken up to?

* * *

Cayde-6 wasn’t busy, but he was _very_ busy with pretending to _look_ busy. It was a fine line of not actually working while doing just enough so it looked like he was working, and he liked to think that he toed it very well. Honestly, it was exhausting work. He’d probably have to leave for dinner early. He had earned it.

The Exo looked up from the report in his hands to see Zavala deeply focused on whatever it was he was dealing with. Traveler knows what was in those thick reports, but he was glad it wasn’t his personal job to deal with it. Cayde had his legs propped up on the table, leaning back in his chair, but he moved his foot to the side so he could look at Ikora while cracking his next joke.

Except, Ikora wasn’t there?

How had she slipped out without him noticing? There was a brief moment where he passed out in his chair and he wondered if she had taken that opportunity to flee. He dropped his feet to the floor and glanced around the large conference room. She wasn’t anywhere in the room and the sound of his feet thumping on the floor succeeded in catching the Titan Vanguard’s attention.

“Big Blue.” Cayde called out and though he couldn’t technically _hear_ Zavala sigh in exasperation, he still felt it down in his Exo soul. “Where’d Ikora go?”

“To meet up with a group of new guardians.”

“ _Without me_?? She went to see kinderguardians _without me_??”

Zavala cracked him a small smile and Cayde narrowed his eyes at it, “You were so focused on your work. She didn’t want to disturb you.”

Cayde sunk in his seat, ignoring the fact that Sundance chimed in that he looked like a petulant child, “Well, you know what they say, why take a break and have fun when you can work yourself into a _final_ death?”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Zavala retorted but he wasn’t even looking in Cayde’s direction anymore. His attention had gone back to the documents in front of him. The vibe in the conference room was making him itch. Everyone was busy getting their work done, milling about, and it made his craving for fresh air grow tenfold.

He wanted the feeling of dirt beneath his boots. The scent of pine trees from the EDZ hanging in the air, or the acidic bite of Vex milk on Nessus making the surrounding atmosphere feel like walking through static. What he wouldn’t _give_ to be shooting Cabal in Nessus or barreling through Hive on Titan. It was a damned tragedy.

Cayde hummed in annoyance while staring at the report in his hands. His eyes glanced over the words, but his mind daydreamed of being anywhere but here. The conference room continued on while he battled his internal crisis.

He was the first one to notice the large double doors open and it was probably because he was longing for a distraction of any sort or kind. Cayde had assumed it’d be Ikora coming back, and his mouth opened with the complaints of abandonment ready to throw at her. However, it wasn’t Ikora standing at the door, it was an unfamiliar face, and the words died on his tongue.

Anyone could spot a newly rezzed guardian.

They always had the same look of wonderment and awe on their face during their first visit to the Tower. They’d look like a little kid during The Dawning. Wandering around with wide eyes and the goofiest smile on their lips. He didn’t blame them. There was a lot on the Tower to be in awe of, and he still remembered when he was brought into The Light.

This Guardian was different. She wore a tattered, old outfit that reminded him of Old Russia, but she had no helmet on which is why he could see she was _not_ smiling. She had stopped at the doorway glancing around the room. A few workers gave her a look, but she didn’t wilt under their gazes. The main emotion painted on her face was curiosity, but it was mixed with hesitance. The Ghost beside her spun around her head once and the hesitance slipped away. Now the curiosity only mixed with intrigue.

Anyone could spot a new Guardian, but Cayde knew a Hunter when he saw one.

He stood up and began to slowly cross the room. He didn’t want to rush up and spook her. This seemed like a good decision when her eyes landed on him and her hand twitched.

“Well, hey there.” He called out. Zavala looked up from his reports but must have assumed Cayde would handle this well enough because he went back to his work. The new Guardian’s Ghost whirled around her again and she relaxed.

She was small. Even for a Hunter, she was small.

It looked like she came up to just his shoulders, but what she lacked in height she made up for with a lean, athletic build. It was easy to see her form without the usual armor covering it up. Her hair was a dark shade of brown, darker from sweat and grime of being brought back as a Guardian out in the wilderness, and it was cut short. The slightly wavy strands bit at the nape of her neck and hung an inch above her own shoulders. The new Hunter’s eyes were dark as well. They looked nearly black but as he got closer, he realized they were indeed brown too. She was human, with tanned skin, and a round face with high cheek bones. Her features kind of reminded Cayde of Ana Bray but softer. “How’re you doing?”

“Are you Cayde-6? Ikora told me to look for Cayde-6.” Her voice was light but held strength to it. She was wary of him, of everything, but her voice didn’t waver.

“That’s me. I’m your Vanguard.” He crossed his arms. She didn’t immediately reply. Her eyes took in his form, studying him. The urge to crack a joke about her ‘ _checking him out’_ came to the forefront of his mind, but the words didn’t make it out. The look in her gaze distracted him. There was a glint of something there. Mischievous? Defiant? He made a sound akin to clearing his throat, “You’re a Hunter. I’m the Hunter Vanguard it’s kind of-”

She nodded once, “Orion told me.” Cayde glanced at the Ghost hovering close to her side. The little, light gray ball of energy, Orion apparently, was buzzing with joy. Probably from finally finding his Guardian. She crossed her own arms now, matching his stance, and spoke again, “So does that make you my boss or something?”

Cayde hummed, lifting a hand to his chin, “Something like that. By all means, feel free to call me sir. I think I’d like that.”

“I wouldn’t hold your breath.”

“Hm, funny you say that. As an Exo, I don’t technically need to breathe so I can hold my breath a very, _very_ long time.” Cayde joked and it pleased him to see amusement cross the new Hunter’s face as a small smirk graced her lips.

He loved getting new Hunters. He enjoyed showing them around, making sure they knew the right places for drinks and food, and the absolute best places to hide loot. Cayde loved watching them grow into their new role. It filled him with a sense of pride.

And, something told him, call it a gut feeling, that _this_ Hunter was going to be special.

Cayde slipped his arm around her shoulders, she tensed briefly before relaxing into the touch. He pulled her forward toward the door, “Let’s get you some real armor and a gun that wasn’t found in a hole in Old Russia. What’s your name, partner?”

“My name…” The Hunter paused briefly, and he didn’t pry. Memory issues were common for new Guardians in the beginning. She straightened her posture, keeping her chin high. “My name is Kang Haru. You can call me Haru.”

Cayde grinned, “Nice to meet you, Haru.”

* * *

“Haru, we’re supposed to still be on the Tower.” Orion said firmly. “Vanguard Zavala is speaking to all new Guardians for orientation.”

I hopped onto the top of a rusted car. My boots dented the roof, but luckily, I didn’t crash through it. For three days now, I’ve been a Guardian. There had been tours and reports and meetings, and it was all so _suffocating_. The Tower was a neat place and I was happy to call it my new home with Orion, but I didn’t want to spend another day up there listening to someone tell me the meaning of being a ‘ _Guardian of Light’_.

“I wanna explore a little, O!” I chirped while glancing over the area. My ship still couldn’t leave orbit but going back to Old Russia where I had woken up was no big deal at all. “Do you see any Fallen in the area?”

Orion hummed, “Hm, no I don’t see anything. Still, be cautious.”

I jumped off the car and the gray cape Cayde had given me tangled around my arm. I pulled it away and straightened the hood covering my helmet. This might take a little bit to get used to.

The area, like Orion said, was quiet. As I walked down the path I glanced at my gloved hand. Other new Guardians had been able to use their new Light powers or whatever, but mine seemed to stay quiet. During my talk with Cayde-6, he assured me that it would come eventually. The Light would find me when I needed it and from then on, I’d be able to call on it whenever.

“What kind of Light do you think I have, O?”

“Regardless of what you have, I can feel the strength of it. Your Light is _powerful_. Whether it is Arc or Solar or Void, you will do _great_ things.”

I chuckled, “That’s such a _Dad_ answer. Come on. Take a guess.”

Orion paused in thought before answering, “I think Solar.”

“What makes you think that?”

“You have a fire in your eyes.”

“Hmm.” I clenched my hand into a fist and slowly opened it back up. “That lightning staff power looks kinda cool though.”

Orion let out a short laugh and if he were in front of me, I think he’d be rolling his eye. I was getting to know him pretty well, and it was easy to talk to him. He was my friend. It might have been because he was my Ghost and the Traveler designed him to work with me or whatever, but I liked to think we’d get along if we had met under different circumstances too.

A loud roar filled the air and I came to a stop. It was the same roar from the day I was re-born. I lunged forward and peeked over the edge of the closet car. In the distance, was a small pack of Fallen. I recognized the smaller ones, dregs, but there was a larger one in the front that seemed unusual.

“What is that one??”

“It’s an Archon. The same one we saw a few days ago.” Orion answered then quickly followed it with, “What are you thinking?”

I twisted my lips, “I’m thinking that I wanna get a closer look.”

“I was afraid of that.”

* * *

Cayde had never been prouder than when he listened to his Guardian, _his Guardian_ , tell Ikora and Zavala that she had gone out and killed an Archon. Granted, he had basically short-circuited himself when he caught her in the hanger and asked where she had been. Still, the look of absolute surprise and shock on his fellow Vanguards’ faces was indescribable. He had wished he caught a picture of it. Zavala’s mouth hanging ajar in confused disbelief would’ve made a _fantastic_ main terminal background picture.

He sauntered down the hallway looking for his Guardian. It had been a few days since the Archon incident, but he still owed her a drink. Plus, he wanted to see if he could crack open that mind of hers. She was more cheerful around the Tower. Cayde wasn’t like stalking her or anything creepy like that, but he had seen her talking to other Guardians and laughing in the halls. Now that she felt comfortable here on the Tower, she was open and friendly.

Cayde had checked the courtyard and garden and that one ledge that sat over the city, but Haru hadn’t been at any of them. None of her typical spots.

“ _Stalker_.” Sundance sung.

“It’s not…” Cayde grumbled and continued on his way without arguing with his Ghost. There was one other place she liked to visit, and as he neared the North Tower a familiar voice greeted him. He paused, making a snap decision, and then went around to the side wall to climb into a window that led straight onto the second-floor balcony that overlooked the Speaker’s study.

The Speaker had been gone the past week, traveling around the Last City, but he always left his study open for those who cared to visit and look upon the Traveler. Cayde didn’t know who showed Haru the spot, but she gravitated toward it like a moth to a flame.

“The darkness is coming back.” The Speaker’s formal tone hung in the air. Cayde stayed back far enough to not be seen which kept him from seeing the Speaker himself, but he could see Haru standing by the lower railing. Her gaze stayed on the Traveler while Orion rested in the crook of her neck. “We will _not_ survive it this time.”

Haru turned, “What can I do?”

“You must push back the darkness. Guardians are fighting all over the universe, join them. Your Ghost will guide you.” The Speaker turned to his desk, “I only hope he chose wisely.”

Concern flittered across her features, but Orion floated up to face her, “I did. I’m sure of it.”

Haru smiled at her Ghost. She gave the Speaker one last look, stared at the Traveler for a second more, and then turned to leave. Cayde pushed himself off the wall with the plan to follow after her.

“Cayde-6. Did you come to welcome me back?”

He stepped away from the window to look at the staircase where the Speaker was walking toward him. He was decked in his usual white and gray robes. Cayde tilted his head at him, “Yeah, welcome back. Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna crawl out of this window and go drinking with my Guardian.”

“ _Your_ Guardian.” The Speaker reiterated curiously. Cayde respected the Speaker, respected his role, but he never considered himself close to the odd man. There was something about him that just seemed… _off_. Cayde had a feeling it had something to do with the man’s connection to the Traveler.

Cayde nodded firmly, “ _My_ Guardian. She’s a Hunter. Or did you not notice the dramatic, fancy cloak fluttering in the breeze?”

“You need to keep an eye on her, Cayde-6.”

“What’s that mean?” He stepped toward the Speaker with a hardened look.

He didn’t like his tone.

The Speaker passed him to stand at his desk. He kept his back to him and his gaze on the Traveler, “I sense a _great_ Light in her. She’s powerful and will play an important role in serving the Traveler.” Cayde’s glare lessened at the words. He could feel that himself. That gut feeling hadn’t been wrong. “But where there is great Light, there is also great Darkness.”

“Darkness… Do you think she’s dangerous?”

“We all have the capacity for Darkness. It’s just a matter of which path you choose to follow.” He turned and gave a slight nod, “Keep her on the right path, Cayde-6.”

As Cayde walked down the stairs to leave the conversation weighed on his mind. He glanced over his shoulder, to look at the Traveler, and felt a sense of responsibility settle in his chest.

* * *

The sun was beginning to dip down below the horizon leaving the Tower bathed in orange and yellow hues. I was excited to explore the universe and see different worlds, but a part of me wondered if I’d ever find a view like this. The Last City glowing with life while the Traveler hung above it surrounded by a sunset halo. It filled me with a sense of pride. I had only been a Guardian for a month now, but already I held the title dearly. I wanted this. Which is why I was leaning against the wall waiting for my Vanguard to meet me for my 1-month interview.

“You know, I don’t recall any other Ghosts mentioning their Guardians having to partake in an interview.” Orion said while lazily floating on the slight breeze.

I shrugged, “Why else would Cayde-6 want to meet me?”

When I first arrived, he had shown me around the Tower, given me the basic armor I still wore, and explained a few of the fundamentals. I ate dinner with him once at a ramyun place that he claimed was the greatest location in the entire universe, and we would speak in the halls any time I ran into him. Other than those times though, I’d only see him when I went to turn in mission specs or to update him on what was going on with the Exclusion Zone on Mars.

“Maybe he wants to talk about Rasputin? Hot topic.” I offered. Orion made a noise of agreement, but it was half-hearted.

“Sorry, munchkin. Ikora held me up.” Cayde-6 rounded the corner with a cheerful grin. I don’t think I had seen the Exo in a bad mood yet. He always seemed so relaxed and at ease. He came to a stop a few steps away from me and offered me his arm, “You ready?”

I nodded and then awkwardly glanced down at his arm then back to him, “Oh.” Quickly, I looped my arm through his and he dragged me down the hall. He was humming something under his breath and paid me no mind as I stared up at his profile. I had seen plenty of Exos on the Tower, Awoken too, but this was the closet I’d been to one. Partly because I had been so busy with missions, but even during my free time I tended to stick to myself.

Cayde-6 had a strong profile from the side. His jawline, a polished silver, went up to meet the blue circular piece that was the equivalent of his cheekbone. His coloring was nice too. The blue reminded me of the dark portion of the ocean, and I found it curious that this was the imagery my mind conjured despite me not having seen an ocean in this life. His signature horn was the most noticeable thing about his side profile as it protruded from a base of off-white metal that covered his forehead. I wasn’t sure if it was politically correct or polite for me to be studying him like this, but I couldn’t help but let my curiosity roam.

His blinking, electric blue eyes were a contrast to the warm yellow that flashed out of the hollow of his cheeks. The color and location reminded me of a dragon with fire burning at the back of its throat.

Wait, yellow.

He was talking.

“I’m sorry, what?” I shook my head and tried to ignore the burn of embarrassment I felt flare across my face.

Cayde-6 chuckled, “You’re staring _real_ hard there. I got something on my face?”

“ _O-Oh_ , no. _No,_ you don’t. You look good—er, _normal_. The usual.” I rambled and mentally cursed myself. Maybe I should get around and socialize more. My skills were piss poor at best. “I didn’t mean to stare, I’m sorry. That’s probably rude.”

He turned to glance down at me, “You’re curious. I don’t mind. Feel free to stare all you like.” Cayde-6 winked at me, “I’ll even let you touch if you ask nice.”

I cracked a smile and tried to bite back my laughter. This was a professional interview meeting, right? I glanced down at my dirty armor and frowned. Maybe I should’ve cleaned up after that last mission.

Cayde-6 led me up a narrow staircase that I had found while exploring the Tower. I had spent two full days wandering around the Tower finding every nook and cranny that I could. The staircase led up to a small balcony with benches and a cute, little fountain. The Exo didn’t stop there though. He pulled his arm away from me to walk to the edge of side of the balcony where he looked over.

“Look.” He mumbled and I followed his line of sight. A story down was another, much smaller balcony. Cayde-6 jumped up onto the railing then leaped off landing on his feet. Before he could turn and wave me to follow, I did the same as him. Air whipped around me briefly, and I landed beside him expect I rolled forward over my shoulder then back onto my feet to soften the blow some. “That was a _cute_ little roll.”

I crossed my arms, “Figured I’d save Orion the time of healing my knee joints.”

“Cayde is _never_ that thoughtful to me.” A red and white Ghost, his, materialized and zoomed toward me.

Cayde-6 reached out and snatched her up, “ _Sundance_.”

The Ghost giggled and escaped his grip. Cayde-6 motioned for me to follow as he ducked through a dark archway. It led to another staircase, one I hadn’t seen before, and the stairs spiraled up higher than the other had. Finally, it came to a door that opened up to a rooftop. My eyes widened in surprise as I walked out in awe of the view. This must have been the highest point of the Tower on this side. It must not have been open to public access because there were no benches or decorations or even a railing to protect someone from falling over.

“This is _amazing_. How come I didn’t find this?”

Cayde-6 chuckled and passed me, “Because it’s my little secret.” He sat down on the edge with his feet hanging over. The Vanguard patted the spot next to him and I joined him on the ledge. “Nice view, huh?”

“Yeah.” I nodded then glanced over at him. His gaze was focused out over the Last City, “What are we doing here?”

Cayde-6 shrugged, “I figured the Tower’s bar would be too crowded tonight. Guess we could’ve gone _into_ the City, but this was quicker.”

I leaned back on my palms, “Do you always have these interviews at bars?”

Cayde-6 looked at me with a confused stare before realization dawned on him and a laugh left him, “Oh yeah, _hah_! There’s no interview. I just wanted to hang out.”

Orion chimed in, “ _Told you_.”

My Ghost drifted away, and Sundance followed him. I watched them hover around each other before turning back to Cayde-6 who’s gaze hadn’t left me. I offered him a smile, “You could’ve just asked to hang out?”

“Mmm.” Cayde-6 shook his head and pointed at finger at me, “You’re a hard Hunter to pin down. _Aloof_. To yourself.”

I shrugged and turned my eyes to my feet where I tapped my boots together. He wasn’t wrong, per say. I just hadn’t had the interest to branch out. Orion said I should make friends, but I didn’t feel ready yet. I wanted to be a Guardian, to protect the Light, but I wasn’t ready to immerse myself into the community quite yet.

“I’m still settling.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that.” Cayde-6 said. He pulled out a bottle of amber liquid and unscrewed the top. “I don’t have any glasses. Hope you don’t mind.”

I watched as he took a swig of it. Despite the quick actions, none sloshed from the bottle or spilled from his hollow cheeks. He handed it to me, and I hesitated before taking the bottle, “Thank you, Cayde-6.”

The alcohol burned as it went down, but I took a second sip after the first. I liked the burn, the taste that lingered at the back of my throat. Cayde-6 nodded approvingly and took the bottle back, “You don’t have to call me that, you know. Just Cayde is fine. Or ‘ _Greatest Hunter in the known Universe_ ’ that works too.” He took a quick sip, “Whatever you prefer.”

“Ok, _Cayde_.” I replied. He pushed the bottle back into my hand but before I took another sip, I spoke, “Why do you want to hang out with me?” More liquid fire. “I just mean, you’re a popular guy. Lots of people want to spend time with you. Why would you cut time out for someone like me? Who you have to _lie_ to get out here?” Cayde-6 stared at me unblinkingly. An amused look on his face. I twisted my lips and avoided his gaze, “What?”

He shrugged and laced his fingers together in his lap, “Nothing. That’s the most I think I’ve heard you say in one go.”

“That didn’t answer what I asked you.” I pointed the bottle at him.

Cayde took it from my hands, “Same reason that you came. _Curiosity_.”

“I came because I thought this was _mandatory_.”

“Yeah, but you _stayed_.” Cayde argued. He had me there. I could just leave right now, but there was something nice about talking to someone who wasn’t Orion. Not that I didn’t love talking to Orion, but the change of pace was needed. Plus, Cayde’s energy was contagious. His voice was nice too and I enjoyed the fact that he was giving me free alcohol.

Speaking of, I took another swig, “It wouldn’t look good if I ran out on my Vanguard, would it?”

“It wouldn’t.” Cayde agreed, “It would also hurt my feelings awfully bad.”

I laughed and the two of us sat in a comfortable silence. We continued drinking and the more we drank the more we spoke. The conversation wasn’t focused on missions or meetings. He told me stories about his old experiences and more about the people on the Tower I haven’t fully gotten a chance to know yet. The sun had dipped out of view entirely and now the only light came from the Last City and the glow of Cayde’s eyes and mouth as he spoke.

There was a warmth to my cheeks, a warmth in my chest, from the drink and it made me feel good. My mind couldn’t worry about anything when it was swimming like it was right now. I knew the smile on my face was probably giddy and large, but it couldn’t be helped with the way Cayde was making me laugh tonight.

“Honestly, it was Zavala’s fault for thinking I had _any_ shame whatsoever.”

The bottle had dried up some time ago. Cayde was lying on his back, his feet still kicking over the ledge, and his hands were behind his head. I stared down at him and leaned back on my own hands.

“Hey, _Mr. Greatest Hunter in the known Universe_ ”, I spoke, and he rolled his head to the side to look at me, “Tell me how to be great. I wanna—I wanna be one, a great Hunter, just like you.”

Cayde sat up slowly and shook his head, “Not like me. You shouldn’t want that.” He paused and the serious tone in his voice made me think he hadn’t drank as much as I had. “You need to be _better_. As the Vanguard, I shouldn’t be the goal. I should be the mark to beat.”

“You’re a good Vanguard.” I mumbled. “I don’t wanna beat you.”

Cayde chuckled and motioned for me to lean towards him which I did. He was only a handful of inches away now, the light from his eyes was all I could see, “I’m gonna tell you the only thing you need to know. If you learn only _one_ thing from me, I want it to be _this_.”

“What is it?”

He spoke with his hands, passion on his features, “ _Trust your gut_. Always. Above all else. People will try and trick you. Your head and your heart will pull you in different directions based on whatever your goal or desire is, but your gut? Your gut _doesn’t_ lie. If something is off, or unusual, or _wrong_ in any way. Your gut will tell you. If you need to take action, to do something, your gut-”

“Will tell me.” I nodded trying to soak in every word he said.

Cayde nodded, “ _Exactly_. That’s the best thing we have in our arsenals. Warlocks have their books and their fancy words. Titans have their brute strength and boldness. But us Hunters?? We have our _instinct_. We’re the ones who know when something is wrong before the danger has even shown it’s ugly face.”

“Trust my gut.” I repeated the words trying to get them burned into my mind, so I’d remember them when sober. If your amazing Hunter Vanguard gave you a tip like this, it was something you needed to remember. I wouldn’t forget this.

I wouldn’t forget.

* * *

She was drunk. His Hunter had drank most of the bottle herself, and Cayde wondered what had been on her mind enough to push her to do so, but he didn’t care. Haru was lost in her thoughts. The light from his eyes gave her skin a blueish glow, but he could still see that her cheeks and the bridge of her nose were flushed bright red. She held the tight look of concentration on her face only a moment more before it morphed into a broad smile.

“You should’ve brought more to drink.”

Cayde chuckled, “Maybe next time I’ll bring a bottle for us both.”

Kang Haru was still an enigma to him.

Sure, she talked to others and laughed when a joke was told, but she _still_ wasn’t making connections. Connections with other Guardians was important. Cayde had learned that a long, _long_ time ago and it was a lesson he refused to soon forget. Something told him that wasn’t a lesson he could just tell her, and she’d take to heart though.

She’d have to learn the hard way, just like him.

His thoughts drifted back to what the Speaker had told him. About her Light, her darkness. Sitting here on the rooftop of the Tower watching her giggle to herself while poking at her Ghost, who hovered close making sure she was ok, he couldn’t picture an ounce of darkness in her. Cayde had heard through the grapevine that she hadn’t grasped her Light quite yet. Haru hadn’t found her abilities, her energy, yet she seemed so filled with _light_.

She looked soft. Her high cheekbones, now tainted from the alcohol, suited her face well but didn’t make her look sharp. Her hair was a wild halo around her head. The waves tucked behind the ear closest to him to keep out of her face. She had three piercings on this side. He hadn’t noticed that before. It was cute. She was cute.

Haru turned to look at him, her brown eyes burning, “I think I should get to bed.”

“I think you’re right.” He hummed in amusement. She moved to stand but tilted forward a little too far. Before she tumbled over the edge, Cayde wrapped his arm around her waist, “Though that way might be quicker, I think we should take the stairs.”

“ _Stairs_.”

Cayde helped her stand and kept his arm around her until she found her feet. She babbled about something another Guardian had said to her today, and he wished she’d talk like this more often. She’d get there eventually. Cayde would make sure of that.

After all, his gut told him it was the right thing to do.

He’d make his Hunter the best damn Hunter the Traveler ever chose.

* * *

I followed behind my Vanguard staring at the contours of his shoulders, hidden by thick, leather armor, and the red splashes of color on his dark cloak. Technically, I should be on the Tower researching more about the best way to deal with the Black Garden. The Exo stranger I had met on Mars made it sound important. I was searching through old archives when Cayde wandered up to me and asked me for help on one of his missions.

It shocked me at first because up until this point I had no idea the Vanguard even left the Tower. I declined his offer, knowing my current mission was imperative, but Cayde made a very good point. A break from the archives could do me a world of good.

I didn’t need any more convincing than that really.

We were wandering around a new area of Old Russia. I hadn’t been here yet, but we hadn’t come across many enemies and the few we did Cayde made quick work of. He was a good shot, which he probably had to be to be promoted to Vanguard or however that worked, but it was still interesting to watch him work. He’d spin the large hand cannon with a spade painted on the side in his hand and mow down a line of Fallen without batting an eye. My own hand cannon was much smaller and had way less of a bite, but I had become attached to it regardless.

“Sure, are quiet back there, pipsqueak.”

I frowned at the nickname, “What is this mission again?”

Cayde-6 spoke with his hands but didn’t look back at me, “Just a little recon is all.”

The more I thought about it the more it didn’t make sense. Recon seemed like a silly mission for the Hunter Vanguard to pick up. It made less sense that he thought he could use my help on it. We had hung out on the Tower a decent amount but getting a drink together seemed different than doing a mission together.

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and Orion offered me comfort for the uneasiness that I was feeling. I spoke up, “You brought me out because I haven’t been able to use my Light yet. Didn’t you?”

Cayde paused in his steps and glanced at me. I stopped as well and crossed my arms. My helmet hid my embarrassed features and for that I was grateful. He shook his head, “Not… _entirely_.”

“It’s been 5 weeks. All the other new Guardians can use their Light.”

“So, you’re a late bloomer.” Cayde shrugged, “Not a big deal.”

“It’s a big enough deal that _you_ dragged me out here.”

Cayde held up his hand, “Whoa, whoa, I brought you out here to clear your mind. Self-care and all that.” I chuckled and he continued, “If we happen to stumble across your Light then that’ll just be an added bonus.”

“Orion thinks my Light will be Solar.”

“Well, I do hear it is the best one.”

I rolled my eyes, “I assume that means you have Solar energy.”

“ _Damn straight_!”

Cayde-6 continued leading the way to wherever the hell we were going, and I followed absentmindedly. My attention drifted away at the sound of a bird chirping. It was the first time I heard one in Old Russia. Usually there was only silence and Fallen yelling. I smiled and mimicked the noise with my mouth.

“That’s very good.” Orion said to me. I made the noise again. I hadn’t even known I could do that. Neat.

Cayde-6 looked over his shoulder at me, giving me a quick thumbs up, and then glanced around in the air before facing forward again. I smirked in amusement as the bird chirped off to the side. Cayde’s gaze snapped to it, and he seemed content at finding the source of the noise.

I made the sound again.

He whipped around, “How many freakin’ birds are out here??”

Orion chuckled in my ear and I just shrugged while passing him. His Ghost materialized to float in front of him, “She’s making the noise, dumbass.”

Cayde caught up to me and set a hand on my shoulder. At first, I was concerned I had irritated him, but he had mirth in his glowing blue eyes, “Do it again.” I made the noise with my mouth and he laughed, “That’s _adorable_.” He slapped me on the shoulder making me stumble forward, “Come on, little bird, let’s go find some Fallen assholes.”

“Wait”, I jogged after him, “If I had known you were gonna start calling me little bird I wouldn’t have done it!”

“Too late now!”

We didn’t have to go far to find trouble. A decent sized pack of Fallen were nestled in the shell of a building and as soon as we passed it, they came flooding out at us. Cayde and I were back to back firing our weapons. Just as we made a dent in this wave, a ship flew overhead dropping more down on us.

“Shit, move!” Cayde dragged me into the empty building just as the ship launched a large fireball where we had once been. While he reloaded, I poked my head out of the window and fired into the crowd taking out a few. Their gunfire was too heavy though, and I was forced to duck down.

Fear creeped into my mind. I didn’t want to die. I knew Orion could bring me back, he assured me of that all the time, but it still worried me. I hadn’t needed him to bring me back yet. We had gotten close, I had gotten some bad injuries, but I hadn’t touched death again. There was a tightness in my chest that the fear burrowed in. It felt like something was sitting on my chest making it difficult to breathe.

“Hey, hey, hey.” My head snapped to Cayde. He had his hand on my shoulder, his gaze focused on my helmet’s visor. “Relax. Everything is going to be ok.” He paused to throw a grenade though the window then looked back to me. “Take a deep breath.”

“What do we do?” I clutched at my chest.

“Reach for the Light.” He said calmly. There was no Light to reach, I didn’t understand. I shook my head and he squeezed my shoulders. “You _have_ it. Your Light is strong, Haru. You just gotta grab it.”

The firing got closer. He gave me a firm nod and smile, “I’m gonna pull them away, you hit them from the back.”

“ _Cayde_ -”

He jumped over the window’s ledge before I could argue and rolled out of view. Some of the gunfire followed him, but some remained focused on where I was. I sucked in a sharp breath and closed my eyes.

“You can do this. I’m with you, always.” Orion said.

_Reach for the Light._

I was surrounded by darkness. It was cold. The pressure made it difficult to breathe.

_Reach for the Light._

It felt like hands clawed at my chest. The shadows were moving.

And then there it was. A flicker of light between the dark figures. A warm, flame. Tiny and difficult to focus on, but it was there. It was _there_. My throat felt tight, like a hand had clasped around it, but Cayde’s words rang out in the darkness.

I reached out to the fire and when my fingers brushed it the flame exploded. My eyes snapped open as the sun burned in my chest. Fire licked my armor as I stood and raised my gun to fire at the Fallen. It took only seconds to take out the ones by me, and then I moved onto the crowd surrounding my Vanguard. They turned to ash when hit with my Light and there were only two remaining when I let the Light slip from my hands.

A breath of exhaustion hit me, but there was a new warmth burning in me. It hadn’t been there before, but it took the place of the cold, tightness that was once there.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Cayde roared and killed the last two Fallen before running over to me. He lifted his hand and I chuckled at the movement before slapping it with my own. “That’s _my_ Guardian!”

Orion materialized and flew around my head before hovering in front of my face, “That was incredible, Haru! I’m _so_ proud!”

“Me too.” Cayde wrapped his arm around my shoulders shaking me with a laugh, “Come on, dinner’s on me, little bird.”

There was a smile on my face while Cayde, Orion, and now Sundance buzzed with excitement talking over one another. I lifted my hand to my chest basking in the warmth that now took residence there. For the first time since I woke up in Old Russia, I felt balanced.


	2. ./BOOK OF THEO/.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update on Saturday (not Tuesday like the first one was). The first half of this story bounces around a little, as you will see, in order to set things up. I also have some headcanons that I've applied to the story so you might see some of that. If you have questions please ask!

> _“I’m shaking, hands on my knees, panting. Let the monsters come. Let them come forever. Let them climb the piled bodies of their dead. I don’t care. That’s the thing I do better than anyone. Not care. Let them come in their hundreds and everyone will die at my feet. I don’t care about their homing rockets, their exotic matter slugs, their blades from another dimension._
> 
> _I don’t care because I cannot be moved. I am the wall against which the Darkness breaks._
> 
> _Malphur can turn his gun to fire and Shinobu can dance with lightning, but when the horrors run out of the dark, I am the one who does not move._
> 
> _I am a wall. And walls don’t move. Because walls don’t care.”_

**_–Sentinel_ **

**++++**

Shaxx’s booming voice could still be heard even though I was clear across the room from him. His attention was focused on a group of Guardians who had surrounded him for conversation which kept him from noticing me leaning against a pillar actively staring. The group of Titans milling in front of me helped the whole not being seen thing.

“You can’t avoid him forever.” Orion chuckled from over my shoulder.

“I know that.” I mumbled with a pout. The downside of it all was that I actually _really_ enjoyed talking to Shaxx. His loud voice was filled with an energy that was absolutely contagious. The Titan was the kind of Guardian that made you want to take up arms and rush into war to defend any cause. Always uplifting and encouraging.

The problem was he wanted me to participate in Crucible. It was getting to the point where he brought it up with every conversation we had, and I was running out of valid excuses to use. After a busy year of dealing with the Black Garden, Crota, and most recently Oryx, I had become a bit of a discussion topic. I didn’t mind it, ignoring it was entirely too easy for me, but Shaxx _loved_ bringing it up. He’d sing my accolades in excitement, for anyone in the vicinity to hear, and that he would love nothing more than to see _“the hero Hunter, destroyer of the heart of the Black Garden, Oryx slayer, take charge in Crucible”_.

It was tempting. I wouldn’t lie. It was tempting as hell because, weirdly, I wanted Shaxx to feel proud of me, but the idea of Crucible just didn’t catch my interest. I understood that it helped with training. Fighting other Guardians was a way of safely honing skills to use out in the universe against the actual enemies, but I still couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of putting a Guardian in my line of sights and pulling the trigger.

Cayde and Orion would tell me over and over that it was okay. Amanda would tell me it was okay. Even Ikora had mentioned to me in passing that it was _okay_. The Guardians who fell in Crucible would have their Ghosts bring them back and nobody took it personal. That was the point of Crucible after all. _I understood that_. Still, there was this _discomfort_ in my chest at the thought of it. I couldn’t explain it well enough for anyone to understand my point of view, but I knew deep down that Crucible just wasn’t my cup of tea.

The crowd of Guardians around Shaxx lessened and I slunk back into a shadow to avoid attention. My actions seemed unnecessary though because a large Titan jogged up to him and took up every ounce of Shaxx’s attention.

“My champion!” Shaxx bellowed as the Titan clasped his hand in greeting. Shaxx was always excited to see Guardians, especially fellow Titans, but he seemed even more jovial at the sight of this specific one.

Said Titan was tall. Now, saying a Titan was tall was like saying the Traveler was the source of Light. _Obvious_. They always seemed to send up being the largest of the Guardians minus a handful of exceptions. Regardless of that obvious knowledge it still had to be stated because this one was _very_ tall. Shaxx was probably the largest Titan I had ever seen, including Zavala, and this Titan was only a couple inches shorter. His blue and white armor was bulky, but under the bulk I could see that he had a leaner build compared to Shaxx.

“O, you recognize that Titan?” I asked curiously. He was a Guardian I hadn’t seen around, but I didn’t have him pegged as a kinderguardian. All his armor was dinged and covered in a layer of dirt. Around him a white and red Ghost flew around him haphazardly. Nothing about him seemed even remotely familiar. I, clearly, didn’t know _every_ Guardian on the Tower, but I figured I would’ve at least remembered seeing a Titan of his size in passing.

He removed his helmet. Human. Human with lightly tanned skin and a broad smile. The sides of his head were shaved short, but the dirty blond hair on top was longer and messily pushed back. It also looked like he had matching blond scruff along his jawline. Blue eyes? Or maybe a dark gray. It was hard to see from here with his face turned toward Shaxx.

“Theo. A Sentinel.” Orion answered after a bit. He must have searched the database. “He was stationed on Mars for the past 6 months.”

I made a noise of acknowledgement. That explained why I hadn’t seen him in the halls or in the courtyard recently. I watched Shaxx clasp his shoulder with a boisterous laugh. Orion had drifted out from me, but he hovered back closer. His new shell still bright and unmarred by use. The teal lines outlining the triangles of the shell matched his eye which was blinking at me, “You could go introduce yourself. Make a new friend.”

“I have a friend. His name is Cayde.”

“Cayde is more bad influence than a friend.” Orion argued, “Also, there is no rule saying you can’t have more than one.”

I gave my Ghost a cheesy grin, “You’re my friend, O.”

“It’s a stressful ordeal.”

I pushed myself off the pillar and slipped out of the room, Shaxx’s voice fading the further I got, “Uh huh, keep it up. I’ll take that new shell away.”

“You’re the greatest Guardian _ever_. Monuments should be created to honor you.”

“Suck up.”

* * *

Theo, or more commonly Teddy, had never been happier to be on the Tower. Hell, he’d be happy anywhere as long as it wasn’t the icy wasteland that was Mars. The Titan never had qualms with the planet before, but as far as he was concerned now it could _get bent_. He wouldn’t step foot on Mars without an official order from the Vanguard for the next _century_.

The first thing he had done was sleep in his own bed. His apartment was tiny and messy, but it was _his_ and he had missed the comforts of his organized chaos.

The second thing he had done was meet Zavala for mission debriefs and visited his old friend Shaxx. The first had congratulated him on a job well done and the second had tried to rope him into a starting Crucible match. Teddy almost agreed.

The third thing he did was nothing. _Absolutely nothing_. His two weeks of vacation had started, and he spent it wandering around the Last City and visiting with friends he hadn’t seen in a while.

It was the last night of his vacation, and he had already downed a bottle of his favorite City brand whiskey. It was brewed specifically with Guardians in mind and it had a kick. Teddy’s hand tightened around the neck of the second bottle as he stared at the colorful label that didn’t seem to match the brown liquid inside.

The Last City was quiet. The nightlife had died down an hour ago, and he was one of the last ones out walking down the streets. He wasn’t one of the drunken wanderers he passed though. He knew where he was going.

It took a bit to get to the small bar and when he stepped in his was greeted by the few people milling inside. The bar was only large enough for a dozen people or so and his large frame could barely fit through the door.

“Teddy.” He glanced over at Sal, the bartender, who was cleaning glasses. “It’s been a while.”

“I’ve been stuck on Mars.” He chuckled. “How’ve you been Sal?”

The middle-aged man shrugged, “Business is business.” Sal’s thick hair which had once been dark was more gray than black now. It was funny. When Teddy first started coming here Sal had just opened the bar. He was fresh faced and eager. Now Sal had aged, his face was covered in a perpetual five o’clock shadow and marred with wrinkles. “You heading upstairs?”

“Yeah. That alright?”

“Always.” Sal nodded. “You need a drink?”

Teddy lifted the bottle in his hand and Sal gave him a tight-lipped smile. He moved through the room to a back door that had a small staircase that led to a second-floor balcony with one table.

They had claimed the table when the bar first opened. Sal said it’d be good business for him to accommodate a group of Guardians, so he always reserved that table for them, bringing up rounds and rounds of drinks. The balcony didn’t have a view of much since it was only a two-story building surrounded by taller ones, but it was hidden from view and it was cozy.

They liked that.

He sat down in his usual seat. It was the one in the corner so he could rest his arms on the railing behind him. His Ghost, Dahlia, materialized with a soft hum before fluttering up into the rafters where a small nest of old blankets was pushed into the corner. She settled in with room around her to spare. On the table in front of him were three glasses flipped upside down. One to his left, one in front of him, and then one to his right.

The city was quiet and for the next minute or so all he could hear was the clink of the glasses as he flipped them right side up followed by the sound of liquid being poured as he filled each glass with an inch.

Teddy set the bottle down and stared at the amber drink in front of him. He could picture Pyre-27 sitting on the rail with his boots on the table like he always did. Once the Exo leaned back too far and the railing ripped his favorite cloak clear in half as he feel all the way down to the ground. They all roared in laughter, him included, while Pyre-27’s Ghost scolded him. Teddy could see Veya sipping her drink calmly in the seat to his right. Her murmuring in amused exasperation with a sly smile on her face. Veya’s pink eyes glowing in the dark as they gazed into his soul.

He could picture all the nights they spent here.

Eleven years of coming to the bar after tough missions, close calls, and celebrations. Teddy picked up his glass shakily. He held it up, his voice thick and hoarse, “Could’ve used you assholes on Mars.” He could also picture three years of coming here _alone_. Drinking to the memory of his Fireteam. “ _Cheers_.”

Teddy downed his drink and went to pour another.

* * *

Amanda Holliday was elbow deep in some sort of metal contraption that was supposedly a sparrow. She had showed me a picture and yes the schematics had shown a sparrow, but in no way, shape, or form did it look like a sparrow to me right now. I’d describe it more as a ball of metal and wiring, but this was why she was in charge of this stuff and I was in charge of shooting Fallen in the face. Her short blond hair had an oil streak where she must have pushed it aside using her forearm.

“Haru, pass me the spanner wrench.” Amanda called out.

From my spot, sitting on her workbench kicking my legs, I could see various tools but not a single one of them was labeled. You’d think with as often as I spent time here, I would’ve caught on to what she asked for, but absolutely no knowledge of mechanics had stuck with me. Orion spun down the bench and hovered over some metal tool that looked like 3 other tools to me, “This one.”

I scooped it up and tossed it to her with no warning. Amanda pulled her hand out of the engine block to catch it with ease, “Thanks, girl.”

“So, what are you doing to this thing again?” I questioned while playing with the neck of my cloak, “Because from here it looks like you’re torturing the poor lump of metal.”

“I’m using the compressor to-” Before she could go further, I caught her tone of voice and gave her a deadpanned look. Amanda chuckled and dumbed it down, “I’m making the sparrow go _faster_.”

“Ooh”, I grinned in response, “Fun. That’s the kinda upgrade I like.”

“Good, cause it’s yours.”

I blinked in surprise. _Mine_? Had she just said this sparrow was mine? I glanced from her to the dismantled machinery in front of her. Even though right now I couldn’t distinguish the front end of this thing to the back end, I remembered the schematics. Eventually, after Amanda finished used her mechanical magic, it was going to be a very nice sparrow. Like crazy nice. Like, more than I could afford nice.

“I—I _have_ a sparrow, Amanda.” I argued adamantly. She must be mistaken. Amanda must have me confused with one of those Hunters who actually knows how to make a profit from missions. Unlike me who just ended up doing missions for the hell of it or for fun. Anytime I was offered a reward I felt to awkward to actually even accept it unless they forced it into my hands.

“What you have is a sorry excuse.” She chuckled and grabbed a rag to start wiping oil off her hands. It only worked to smear it around on her light skin though. “I could outrun your sparrow _on foot_.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but she definitely wasn’t wrong. The sparrow I was currently using had been bought at dirt cheap price because the Guardian selling it was getting a new one and just wanted to be rid of the damned thing. It had seen better days, to put it nicely. The thing got me to where I needed to go though! Granted, if I tried to go over a certain speed the engine would start to smoke just a little, but a little smoke never killed anyone. Probably.

“Amanda this is a nice sparrow. A stupidly nice sparrow. The kind of sparrow where when I call it forward to use all the other Guardians in the area look. The kind a Fallen or Vex would happily be run over by because it’s just so nice.”

She laughed loudly, her green eyes closing and freckled nose scrunching up in amusement, “Exactly.” Amanda settled before pointing at me, “That fact that I’ve let one of my best friends ride around on the piece of shit you have for as long as I did is absurd, and it’s not like I can even fix your hunk of junk. It needs to be put down.”

I shook my head quickly using my hands to also explain how crazy this was, “I can’t afford to pay you for the labor or materials. I mean I have some but—but not the glimmer you _deserve_.”

Amanda grinned and walked over to lean against the workbench I was sitting on, “Consider it a joint gift.”

“Joint gift?” I furrowed my eyebrows, “Who-?”

Amanda tilted her head with a smirk before using the wrench she picked up to point somewhere. I followed the tool to a familiar Exo all the way on the other side of the hanger talking to two hunters. Cayde must have been telling a story the way he was throwing his arms around excitedly. Based on the familiar movements, it was one I had already heard.

Him and Amanda had gotten me a gift?

“Why?”

“Why not?” Amanda shrugged. I tried to resist the urge to explain to her that ‘why not?’ was not an actual answer. “It was Cayde’s idea. He got the materials I needed and just had me put it together. I’ve been dying to work on a system like this so really it was basically a gift to me too.”

This made no sense to me. None. This wasn’t buying me a drink when we went out or picking up dinner or lunch every once in a while. Things like that I could pay back easily by doing the same next time we went out. A sparrow?? I already felt at a deficit with Amanda and Cayde. They were so amazing, and such good friends to me. I felt like I didn’t deserve them and that feeling only grew tenfold with this.

Amanda must have been able to see the gears turning in my head or the panic that was probably on my face because she walked over with a soft smile, “You’re overthinking this, Haru. I can see it.”

“I don’t—I don’t have anything to give you in return, Amanda.” I replied worriedly. Quickly, I shook my head and balled my hands up in panic. Orion, sensing my distress, pulled in closer to me and hovered by the side of my head. “I’m sorry I—”

“You don’t need to give us anything in return.” She replied slowly. Amanda was older than I was, at the age of 28, and she wasn’t a Guardian. That meant she remembered all 28 years of her life. She remembered being a kid and growing up. Amanda also remembered that I did not. That I was less than 2 years old and confused most of the time. “We care about you, and we wanted to do something nice for you.”

Like always, she was very good at explaining things to me. With a soft smile, I hopped off the counter and wrapped my arms around her tightly in a hug. Amanda chuckled and returned the hug, “Thanks, Amanda. I’m still gonna find some way to pay you back. I promise. Whether in glimmer or—”

Amanda scoffed and pulled away, “Hell no. I don’t want your glimmer, hon. Next time we go out, you can pick up my drink for me, ok?”

“That’s hardly a fair reimbursement.” I argued. She shot me a light glare and I chuckled. My cheeks warmed with gratitude, “Thanks, Amanda.”

“Course. Buildup will be done in a week. We can pick _colors_ then.”

She poked me in my cheek once before wandering off to one of the Guardians that had come over to talk to her about something. I stayed where I was for a moment staring at Cayde as he wrapped up on his story. When the hunters left, he turned and immediately caught my gaze with his own. A smug look formed on his features, confidence radiating off him as per usual, and he winked at me.

Quickly, I gave Amanda one last wave before jogging towards Cayde who was sauntering toward me. We met in the middle, and he chuckled at whatever look was on my face. I pointed at him, with my lips pulled into a tight line, “Hey, _you_.”

“Hi to you too.” Cayde greeted. “How’s your day been?”

“Good, but don’t you small talk me. Why’d you do that?”

Cayde hummed and set a hand on his chin, “Do what? You’re gonna have to be more specific. It’s been a busy morning.”

“Amanda and—and the _sparrow_.” I motioned behind me.

“Oh.” Cayde shrugged, his smug look teetered on excitement, “Well that was just _charity_. The junk you were driving was one bad turn from being a flying dumpster fire.”

I crossed my arms, taking a step closer to him, “Cayde... Amanda explained it to me, but I still… I get it now, but I think it’s too much. She said you were the one who got all the materials and that sparrow is so expensive I don’t think I’ll ever be able to really pay you back…”

Cayde shrugged, his face still amused and I could tell he was holding back a laugh, “That works out pretty well since I don’t want you to pay me back.” I opened my mouth, but he interrupted me, “It’s a gift, Haru. A _gift_.”

“Ok, but why?” I questioned, “It isn’t a holiday or anything. That’s when you give gifts.”

“I don’t think that’s a hard and fast rule.” Cayde shook his head. His amusement simmered into a softer emotion, “Sometimes friends give gifts just to give gifts, little bird.”

At his words, my cheeks warmed in gratitude again. Neither one of them wanted me to pay them back, but I would find some way to make it up to them. Friends give gifts just to give gifts after all. And I was fully beginning to understand that I had _very_ good friends. Cayde wrapped his arm around me and pulled me forward, “Now, I’m working late tonight, and that means I need someone to stay up late then get ramyun with me at 1 in the morning. Luckily, you now owe me for life _so_ …”

I chuckled and slipped my arm around his body, “Owe you for life? What happened to _‘giving gifts just to give gifts’_?”

“Well here’s lesson two: sometimes a gift is actually just a ploy to ensure that I _always_ have a partner for whatever the hell I’m up to.” Cayde shook me in his arms once and I couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s funny to me that you’re laughing because I was serious. You’re stuck with me for forever.”

I didn’t dislike the way that sounded.

In fact, I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

* * *

“You did great. Next time, you’ll be giving me a run for my glimmer.” Teddy put his hand on the back of the helmet of the Titan beside him and shook it. She was a Kinderguardian still, barely a month old, and was still adjusting. She had been part of the Crucible match he just exited.

“You’re exaggerating but thank you.” She chuckled and went on her own way.

Teddy spotted a group of familiar faces off to the side in the courtyard and made his way over. It was midday and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The Tower was packed with people going about their day and enjoying the warm weather. He greeted a few Guardians as he passed them, and as he neared his target their conversation reached him.

“There’s _no_ way. _Look at her_.”

“I’m telling you. That’s her. _The Guardian_.”

“She’s kinda cute. You think she’d let me take her out for a drink?”

Teddy shook his head in confusion as he stopped amongst his fellow Titans. They greeted him halfheartedly, too focused on their conversation topic to do otherwise. He grabbed the Exo’s attention, “Brick, what’s going on?”

“They don’t believe me when I tell them the Guardian over there is the Hunter who killed _Oryx_.” Brick-10 motioned to the center of the courtyard. Teddy knew the reputation of this Guardian. The entire universe probably did. Hell, the whole reason he was on Mars for so long was because it was a follow up mission for setting up a solid presence against the Cabal after the Guardian penetrated the Exclusion Zone. His eyes glanced around, but there were multiple Hunters at the center of the courtyard. “ _That_ one.”

Teddy followed Brick’s gaze to the Postmaster station where Kadi 55-30 was handing out mail and packages. Sitting on the roof of her station was a female Hunter with her legs crossed reading through whatever mail she had picked up while she whistled to herself.

“Hey, I never said I didn’t believe you.” The Titan beside him, the only one of the three he couldn’t remember the name of, held his hands up in surrender, “All I’m saying is, I would endure one on one combat in the Crucible against _Ikora_ if it meant I got to go on a date with _the_ Guardian.”

 _The Guardian_.

Shaxx had talked to him about her too. Teddy didn’t know what to expect after listening to all the stories about this Guardian but seeing her seemed underwhelming. The rumors made it sound like she was over 7’0” tall, built of pure muscle, and had armor of gold with a vivid cloak to match. From here though, she just looked like a normal Hunter. Her armor was worn down and dark in color, though her cloak was a lighter shade of gray, and she didn’t have her hood up or her helmet on.

Her white and blue Ghost floated back and forth in front of her. The Ghost must have said something because she looked up from the letter in her hand to laugh and smile. The laugh shook her small body and the grin lit up her entire face. Rumors had also said the Guardian never showed her face and never spoke. That she was an emotionless presence with only the mission in mind. She didn’t seem that way to him right now.

“She’s tiny, even for a Hunter, and I know for a fact that _that_ Hunter is _barely_ over a year old.” Gregory argued with a scoff. Teddy was never the biggest fan of Gregory. He didn’t understand how someone as relaxed and fun as Brick-10 could put up with the pompous jackass.

Teddy shrugged, “I heard the Guardian who killed Oryx was pretty young.”

All the other things he heard had turned out false it seemed, but Gregory was the kind of human that you never wanted to be on the same side of in an argument. If he said the sun produced heat, Teddy would lie and claim otherwise just to spite him.

“When people say young, they mean someone like _you,_ Teddy. 14 years as a Guardian is young. Anything under 7 is _infantile_.” He scoffed snobbishly .

The Guardian hopped off the roof and turned to give Kadi 55-30 a smile before moving to leave the courtyard. Her eyes drifted over the crowd and for a moment they locked with his own gaze. She probably got stared at a lot and he briefly felt bad for being one of the ones to do so, but he noticed she didn’t falter at being stared at, glare at him for doing so, or even look away in embarrassment. The Guardian just held his gaze for a moment before giving him a tight smile and nod.

“If you ask me”, Teddy said loudly, turning back to look at Gregory’s grumpy pale features, “It sounds like you’re jealous that she’s done more for the Light in 1 year than you have in 67.”

His mouth fell open, aghast and upset, while Brick and the other Titan laughed. Teddy gave them a grin and left to seek out Zavala for his next mission.

* * *

The Traveler was pretty. That word didn’t seem to do it justice though. The white orb was surrounded by the pastel cotton candy hues of the early morning sky behind it. It was asleep, that’s what everyone said at least, but there was something about it that always seemed to _radiate_ to me. Maybe it was just the sunlight glinting off it. Regardless, staring at it, at the Traveler, always helped me think, and the North Tower had the best view of it. Always.

“It’s been quite some time since you’ve been here. And so early in the morning.”

My hood was up so Orion could rest in the crook of my neck. He stirred at the Speaker’s voice but settled again after a moment. The Speaker came to stand beside me, and I didn’t bother offering him a parting glance. He always left his office open so Guardians could come, and I was a common visitor.

“Something on your mind?”

“It’s my birthday.” I said slowly but I cringed at the phrasing. “I don’t like calling it my birthday, that feels _weird_ , but I guess it’s kind of accurate. I was born as a Guardian this time two years ago.”

The Speaker chuckled, “Congratulations. Time has flown by.” I nodded and mumbled an agreement under my breath. He was quiet for another moment and stared at the Traveler with me. I wonder what he saw when he looked upon it. He was the Speaker after all. Our connection to The Traveler while it slept. “You are distressed, Kang Haru.”

I was. How could he tell? I didn’t think I was outwardly showing it. At least, not anymore. Nightmares plagued me every once in a while. Sometimes it was Crota breathing down my neck. Sometimes it was Oryx crushing me beneath his heel. Sometimes… Sometimes I couldn’t remember the nightmare at all and somehow those were the worst ones. Those were the ones that left me sitting in bed breathless with Orion whispering to me that I was okay.

That I was safe.

I had a different kind of nightmare last night. It was me, but I wasn’t a Guardian. I had no Light and Orion was nowhere in sight. It had just been me and a storm. There was lightning all around, the thunder rattled my chest, and the pouring rain soaked me to my bones. There were whispers and somehow the whispers were louder than the thunder, but I couldn’t understand what they said. Too many voices, all overlapping and _angry_. I begged and pleaded into the void for it to end. Mercy came to me in the form of a man on fire.

He lifted his arm.

He pulled back the hammer of his gun.

And he shot me dead.

Orion said he thought I was dying. He was scared and kept trying to wake and heal me as I thrashed in bed screaming, but nothing he did helped. I finally came to myself, sweating and scared, and just laid there as Orion curled up into my side.

That’s why he was so tired and why he clung to the bare skin of my neck that he could reach. The coolness of his shell comforted me as well. It reminded me that I was truly awake and in the moment. That I was safe.

“I was shot.” I broke the silence between us. My eyes remained glued to the Traveler because I couldn’t bear to look at the white helmet that covered the Speaker’s face. I didn’t want to picture the emotions behind it. “That’s how I died before becoming a Guardian. I was shot.”

The Speaker stiffened beside me, “…and how do you know this?”

I shrugged then crossed my arms tightly over my chest, “I had a… dream— _nightmare_ , I don’t know. It wasn’t an accurate memory… but the way I felt had been real. When I woke up…” My voice trailed off as I relived that moment lying in bed staring at the ceiling with Orion pleading for me to speak. I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued, “I just knew. I just _knew_ how I _died_.”

“Memories of a past life… they are _tricky_ things.” The Speaker’s voice was hesitant as he spoke. As if he was being careful with what he shared with me. “They are easily changed and influenced. We have to be careful of what we accept as the truth.”

Finally, I turned to look at the Speaker. He remained facing the Traveler with his hands clasped behind his back. I shook my head, “Why can’t we know more about our past? I remember in the beginning someone told me not to look for the answers and everyone— _everyone_ seemed to accept that and move on, but _why_?” Orion began to stir again at the tone in my voice. He made a humming noise that made his shell vibrate against my neck. “And if everyone else is so ok with moving on then why—How come I’m _not_?”

“Haru—”

“I’m _different_.” I snapped. “When I first came here you said you hoped Orion had chosen wisely, but what if he didn’t?”

Orion cut in, “I _did_. I _did_ choose wisely. _Never_ doubt that. _You_ are my Guardian. My _only_ Guardian. Haru…”

“Why am I like this?” I turned away from the Speaker again and lifted my hands to cup Orion and hold him against me. “I don’t want to be different. I just want to be a normal Guardian. I want to help people. To protect the Light.”

The Speaker stepped in front of me, forcing me to take a step back, and he blocked my view of the Traveler. He reached forward and set his hands on my elbows. His touch was soft and comforting.

“You _are_ helping people. You _are_ protecting the Light.” The Speaker said. “Trust that. Trust your Light. Your Ghost. Your _Vanguard_.” I opened my mouth to speak but stopped when his grip on my arms tightened suddenly. His voice became lower and a chill went down my spine, “Do _not_ trust your nightmares. The path they lead you down is _not_ one you should indulge in.”

Orion floated away from me, toward the Speaker, and it forced him to release my arms in order to not bump into him. My Ghost made a noise, akin to clearing a throat, and lied firmly, “Haru is getting a message about a mission. She has to go.”

I took a step back and Orion followed, but he stayed in front of me protectively. His shell was pulled in tight to his core with no spin or rotation whatsoever. The Speaker nodded his head, “Very well. Be careful, Haru.” I quickly turned and began to leave, Orion following after me. As I reached the exit the Speaker called out one last time, “Happy Birthday, Guardian.”

* * *

Teddy shifted in his ship’s seat. He was nervous, and he hadn’t felt nervous like this in a _very_ long time. Dahlia made a clicking noise in the air beside him, “Sugar, will you _relax_?”

“ _Lord Saladin_ , who left his post at the Iron Banner for the _first_ time since I’ve been a Guardian, has _personally_ asked us to go check out an abandoned observatory in the mountains near Old Russia.” Teddy said and he couldn’t hold back the chuckle of excitement in his voice. “ _Lord Saladin_ , Dahlia. _Lord Saladin_!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m the one who read the message to you. I _know_ who sent it.”

“I can’t believe he even knows who I am. He called me Teddy.”

Dahlia shook in place with a light laugh, “Of course he did, that’s what you go by.”

“But _still_!”

His Ghost purred in thought, the drawl of her words washing over him, “Don’t you think it’s a little odd he’s sending us all the way out here? He’s in Old Russia dealing with the Devils. That’s where the mess is.”

“We _don’t_ question the last true Iron Lord.” Teddy said firmly, pointing to her with his armored glove, “He tells us to jump, we ask how high.”

Dahlia gave Teddy a deadpanned look best she could with her single blue eye, “Hey, _Mr. How High_ , Lord Saladin is on the line for you.”

“Oh my Light, _what_?? Put him through!” Teddy scrambled for the ship’s speaker and cleared his throat before connecting it to his comm unit, “Sir, Lord Saladin, sir, uh, it’s Teddy here.”

Dahlia snickered beside him and he batted her away from the air by his head. Lord Saladin’s voice came through the speaker, “Good to hear from you, Titan. Are you close to Felwinter?”

“Yes sir. Two minutes out.”

“Perfect.” Lord Saladin replied, “A group of Fallen have captured the peak. My team and I are en route, but we are still a ways out. I need you to secure Vostok observatory on your own. It is imperative that the Fallen do not establish a foothold on that mountain. Can you handle that?”

He confirmed the mission, but Dahlia spoke out before he could cut the line, “What could the Fallen want with an abandoned outpost?”

Teddy shot her a glare that she rolled her eye at. Lord Saladin paused before answering, “Things better left buried.”

The line ended and Teddy was left with questions of his own. Why had the Iron Lord sounded so grim when he answered? Dahlia spun in place, and Teddy could tell she wasn’t happy with the answer herself. It was too late to second guess now though. His ship was over the mountain, and it was time to transmat down.

As soon as his boots hit the snow the Fallen were on him. Luckily, they were poorly organized and scattered enough that he was able to make his way up the mountain leaving a trail of bodies. Things were going well so far but with the amount of Fallen around him even he was having doubts if he could secure the mountain alone. Lord Saladin had reached out again while he rode a metal gondola up to the top of the mountain, and he explained that as long as he took the courtyard at the rear of the facility the Fallen wouldn’t be able to reach the Iron Temple.

_The Iron Temple._

Teddy never thought he’d see it in person. If he had a little less control, he would’ve squealed over the line in excitement. Luckily, Dahlia muted his side of the comm unit long enough for him to release his elation in private.

Then the gunfire began, and the celebration had to be put on hold. He ducked under the metal wall to reload before firing more. Dahlia groaned in his helmet, “Sugar, I’m thinkin’ this metal box was a _terrible_ idea.”

“It was _your_ idea.” He argued.

A rocket hit the end of the gondola making the entire box rock as the wall was taken out. Dahlia spoke quickly, “Jump _now_! Another rocket is incoming!”

Without hesitation, he threw himself out of the gondola as it exploded behind him. Teddy was airborne for only seconds before his feet hit the snow. He rolled forward to balance out the blow of the drop and his body slid to the base of the slope he landed on. Teddy shook the snow off his body.

“I’m gonna have to just climb, aren’t I?” Teddy sighed.

“I’m sure as hell not gonna let you back into one of those floatin’ coffins. Get to movin’.”

He destroyed the last flying, weird as shit looking red Servitor and dropped to one knee as it fell out of the sky in a plume of smoke. Sepiks Prime wasn’t dead and now he was perfected?? _Fuck_. Dahlia materialized and healed him quickly before disappearing again. He pushed himself and turned to the doors of the Iron Temple. He thought he’d feel awe standing here, but all he felt was confusion. What was going on?

“All this for some old temple?” Dahlia questioned.

The sound of someone transmatting made Teddy turn. Lord Saladin landed only a few feet away, but before he could greet the him the Iron Lord ran forward and lifted his gold and black weapon.

“ _Whoa_ -!” Teddy cried and Lord Saladin fired two shots on either side of him. He glanced over his shoulder to see two dead Fallen.

The Iron Lord straightened his posture, “Even old wolves still bite.” Teddy was glad his helmet was on because the smile on his face was _stupid_ big. Despite his confusion, seeing the Iron Lord in action made him giddy. “Shiro, what’s your status?”

Teddy narrowed his eyes and mouthed the name. It sounded vaguely familiar.

“Circling around to make sure the area’s clear. Be there in a sec.”

The voice came over the comm line and he was startled. He didn’t even know there was another person with access to it. Lord Saladin turned to look at him, his back to the Temple doors, and Teddy fixed his form and pushed his shoulders back to look as tall as he could.

“Well done, Teddy. I’m impressed.” Dear Light, he was going to faint. “Now we can-”

The electronic groan filled the air and he whipped around to see one of the new Servitors lift in the air. Teddy groaned and mumbled under his breath, “For fuck’s sake…”

It shimmered and disappeared. Shiro spoke up again, “Multiple impacts near the wall in Sector 17!”

“They’re attacking the sensor grid. They must know where SIVA is.”

Dahlia whispered in his helmet, “What in blue blazes is goin’ on??”

“ _Guardian_.” Lord Saladin barked and Teddy jumped, “Go to the Cosmodrome immediately! If Sepiks escapes, the Fallen won’t be our only problem!”

“Got it. Dahlia?” His Ghost transmatted him to his ship. The urgent tone in Lord Saladin’s voice was enough incentive to get his ass moving.

* * *

Cayde had this funny way of knowing what I was going to do before I even did it. This was an extremely helpful tool when we went on missions together. It made our teamwork damn near flawless. This little trick was a complete and total pain in the ass anytime I planned on doing something not exactly approved of though. Orion liked to call these plans reckless and dumb.

Today’s reckless and dumb plan involved leaving the Tower to go hang out in Old Russia, a location strictly forbidden on Zavala’s order. Last I heard though there was trouble brewing out there near the Cosmodrome. Trouble that had Lord Saladin himself going out there. I wasn’t in the loop of the mission specs, but the mission would be the perfect cover for me to take a trip back to where this all started.

“Happy Birthday, birdie.” Cayde called out. He was leaning against a stack of boxes beside my ship with his arms crossed over his chest and his ankles crossed over one another. Cayde was the picture of casual, but I had known him long enough to recognize the disapproval in his tone.

“Thanks.” I replied, “Maybe later we could do dinner? Right now, I have to-”

“Break the number one rule of being a Guardian?”

I steeled my features as best I could and tried to act as nonchalant as possible, “I thought the number one rule was don’t make fun of Zavala’s knitting hobby?”

Cayde shook his head and bypassed my joke entirely, “This is a terrible idea, and that’s coming from _me_.” He pushed himself off the boxes to stand in front of me, forcing me to crane my neck slightly to look at him, but I didn’t lessen my determination. For a moment the two of us were at a stalemate. Just staring at one another waiting for the other to crack. Cayde’s gaze bore into me with a pleading look, and I made sure he could see the resolve in mine. Finally, he blinked and heaved a sigh, “Fine, but I’m coming with. Bad ideas are always more fun with company.”

I mentally celebrated the win and then we were on our way. It didn’t take long to get to Old Russia at all, and we were able to transmat down to an area extremely close to where Orion had originally found me. This and the dream were the only clues I had to who I was before waking up a Guardian, so I had to follow it.

The area was crawling with Fallen and the Fallen didn’t look as they should. They had been enhanced in various ways. Better armor, modified weapons, and even cybernetic add-ons. We took out the waves that had been on our path all the same but had to pause for our Ghosts to heal us up before moving again. I shook my head, “What the hell were wrong with those Fallen??”

“They were SIVA infected.” Cayde answered then cursed under his breath, “Shiro wasn’t exaggerating.”

“SIVA?”

Cayde nodded once, “Part of Saladin’s past. The Iron Lords dealt with the destructive virus literal ages ago. According to my source, Sepiks Prime is back and screwing with it.”

“ _Sepiks Prime_ … Why does that name sound familiar?” I thought aloud.

“Because _we_ killed him.” Cayde motioned to the two of us. “Ringing any bells?”

The memory slowly returned. I did go on that mission with Cayde, wow. Sucks that he was back though, that’s a bitch. I brushed past that and moved to the name he had dropped, “Shiro. As in Shiro-4… of your old _fireteam_?”

It had been one of our nights drinking on the rooftop when he told me about his old fireteam before he joined Ikora and Zavala. The details of it all still hurt for him to say, but he had managed to use broad strokes to paint me the picture of what had happened to his fireteam. To Andal Brask.

Cayde’s steps faltered, but he was quick to correct them, “Yeah. One and the same. He scouts for the Vanguard from time to time. Lucky bastard ain’t stuck in the Tower like I am. He gets to have _all_ the fun still.”

“Should we be concerned that your friend and Lord Saladin are out here fighting some virus?” I questioned.

Cayde shook his head, “Shiro says they’re on top of it for now. Still, we’ll keep an ear out for any _‘SOS’_ sort messages.”

My Vanguard continued talking, but my feet came to a stop. He noticed after a moment and backtracked to me curiously. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the area in front of me to look at him though. This was it. This was where _the Guardian_ was born.

Orion materialized and floated forward, scanning the area, “It looks mostly the same as I last saw it. Not much has been disturbed. Probably because it isn’t on the main path.”

“Plus, there’s nothing of worth for the Fallen to pilfer.” Cayde added. He was right. The area was just a patch of dirt nestled between a hollowed out, rusted car and more scrap metal that used to be part of a ship.

I didn’t know what I expected. Some sign posted here that would lead me to my memories? A photo album of my past buried under the car? For some reason, I thought I’d get here, and everything would be revealed to me. Things would make sense, or I would find some other clue or hint to the answers I wanted. I knew deep down how much of a long shot it was, but the disappointment I felt was still palpable. Staring at my once resting place just made me feel foolish though.

Cayde was right.

This was a stupid idea.

“Haru.” A hand on my shoulder made me jump, but Cayde was just looking at me with concern, “You good?” I wanted to answer him. To assure him that everything was fine, but I didn’t know the how to put the words together. “I’m sorry.”

I hadn’t expected him to apologize. He didn’t owe me an apology after all. Really, if anything, he deserved to say _, ‘I told you so’_. Cayde was sincere though. I could see it, and in that moment, I was so glad he didn’t comment on how terrible of an idea this was. The Speaker’s words still didn’t sit right with me either though. I didn’t want to ignore this, brush aside these nightmares, and pretend like something wasn’t happening. I felt like they were there for a reason. That I needed the answers, but it felt like there was no way for me to get them.

A low whistle made both of us jump. We whipped around with guns raised. An Exo stood on the path with his arms crossed, he leaned against one of the rusted cars looking at us. His face held shades of orange and a yellow, but the yellow was dark compared to the brightness of his matching cloak. His glowing blue eyes held delight.

“Cayde-6, you’ve been stuck on the Tower too long. It was _too_ easy to sneak up on you.”

Cayde lowered his weapon, and it was only after he holstered the Ace of Spades that I lowered my own weapon. Based off everything that was going on in this area, I bet I could safely assume that this was the famous Shiro-4 I had heard so much about.

“I _let_ you.” Cayde retorted. “Thought it’d be good for your confidence.”

Shiro grinned and stepped closer, “My confidence is just fine, but thanks.”

The two clasped hands then pulled one another in a hug before breaking apart. Cayde lifted his hand toward me just as Shiro’s eyes landed on my face. My Vanguard spoke, “This is Haru. Haru, this is Shiro.”

“Kang Haru. I’ve heard of you.” Shiro offered me his hand and I shook it with a smile, “You’ve got one helluva track record, Guardian.”

“I can say the same about you. Cayde speaks highly of you.”

Shiro glanced back at Cayde, “Sundance told me you were in the area. We need some help, you two busy?”

Cayde turned to me. He tilted his head in question and I understood that he was putting the decision in my court. I glanced back at the patch of earth where my once aged corpse had laid, then turned back to the Exos, “Not at all. What can we do to help?”

“We’re preparing to make a final move on SIVA. Saladin and I have been working with a Titan. Theo?” Shiro motioned for us to follow him and we did.

Cayde thought for a moment before clapping once, “Oh! _Teddy_! Yeah, Big Blue _loves_ that guy. He’s good.”

Shiro nodded in agreement, “He’s been a tremendous help. We have him making his way to the main SIVA reactor. The plan is to initiate a self-destruct and put this all to rest.”

“What do you need us to do?” I questioned.

“The three of us need to play interference. Keep the Fallen at bay so Teddy can take care of the reactor and not be overwhelmed.”

Cayde and I glanced at each briefly before Cayde gave his old friend a thumbs up, “Lead the way, Shiro. More than happy to raise hell for little Teddy.”

It took us very little time to travel out to the area we were needed in. The Titan, Teddy, was apparently already heading to the reactor so all we had to do was find trouble. Luckily, as hunters, that was our specialty. The three of us took out a few Fallen packs keeping guard, and then traveled deeper into the facility. The area was unusually quiet though. My helmet was on as I cleared my area before jogging back to Cayde and Shiro. Cayde stated he’d run ahead and check things out leaving Shiro and I trailing behind slowly.

“Cayde says it’s your birthday. Congrats.” Shiro sidled up beside me. I chuckled, unsure of what to say to the Exo I had heard so much about from Cayde, and quickly thanked him. He offered me a reassuring smile, “Got any plans for it?”

I shrugged, “Other than helping you defeat a bunch of SIVA spliced Fallen? No, I don’t think so.”

“You must have come to Old Russia for a reason.” He replied. Now I was really unsure of what to say. This was someone I didn’t personally know. It was our first conversation with Cayde not present. He couldn’t see my face with my helmet in place, but Shiro seemed to make a guess from earlier clues. He hummed, “Ah. I see. I had heard that you were one of the Guardians who came from this area.”

I readjusted my grip on my weapon. What I wouldn’t give for a SIVA infused Fallen to jump out in front of us to distract us from this conversation. It was one thing to feel pathetic and broken in front of Cayde, but now a stranger too?

“Do you know what the numbers after our names are for?”

The question startled me because I had been so lost in my own self-loathing and embarrassment. I blinked at him, and after I realized he couldn’t read my features I quickly spoke up, “Uh, yeah. Cayde told me once. It’s the number of times you’ve undergone a memory reset, right?”

Shiro nodded, “That’s right.” We were quiet for a moment as we carefully turned the corner. Cayde hadn’t sent us a message warning us of a problem, but it was better to be cautious anyways. When we were confident the area was clear he continued, “I haven’t undergone as many as some, but I’ve gone through enough. Do you want to know how I spent my 5th, 6th, and 7th birthday?”

“How?”

“I was searching. For three years, I searched for a semblance of who I used to be. I wanted to know who Shiro-3 was. Shiro-2. Shiro-1.” He paused. “I wanted to know who I was _before_ becoming an Exo.”

He knew. He had spent three years searching for what I wanted. I shook my head eager to hear more, “What did you find??”

Shiro, who unlike me didn’t wear his helmet, gave me a sad look, “Nothing helpful. Some clues here and there. Trinkets of my past occasionally. Nothing that helped anything, but I did _learn_ something. Can I tell you what I had to find the hard way?”

I nodded, “Please.”

“I learned that it _didn’t_ matter. It was the _hardest_ lesson to learn for me, especially since I spent so much time looking for more, but it really didn’t.” Shiro’s voice was firm, but gentle. “Who we were before isn’t relevant, Haru. The most important thing is who we are today. Who we will be tomorrow.”

The way he said it felt sincere. It was easier to accept this kind of truth from someone who shared a desperation for answers. I took a shaky breath before speaking, “I have… I have nightmares. I always have. Since day one, but… I’m scared they have to do with my past and that if I _don’t_ find the answer to what it was about then—” I paused. “It feels like something _bad_ will happen.”

Shiro nodded silently, “Have you told Cayde about these nightmares?”

“No. I don’t want to… Cayde is a good Vanguard, he’s…” I chuckled, “He’s a really good _friend_.” I was sure this was something Shiro could attest too as well. “Sometimes he looks at me like he’s trying to—to _absorb_ all my burdens. To _share_ them, but they’re _my_ burdens for a reason. I don’t want to trouble him anymore. I already owe him so much.”

“I think you should talk to him about it. Your nightmares.”

The two of us stopped and looked at one another. Maybe he was right. Things always made more sense when I talked it through with Cayde-6. After two years, he had become very good at untangling the mess that was my mind when I needed it. I opened my mouth to thank him when Cayde’s voice crackled over our comm units.

_“Guys! I made people angry! Bringing them your way now!”_

Seconds later, Cayde whipped around the corner in the distance ahead of us sprinting our way while firing behind him every few steps. A beat later a wall of Fallen came after him. Shiro lifted his weapon with a sigh and I followed suit.

* * *

The metal facility around him was literally falling apart. Areas exploded in fire while tendrils of SIVA clawed at him, trying to grasp his arms or legs or anything they could reach.

“ _RUN RUN RUN_.” Dahlia screamed in his ear.

Teddy leaped over a broken portion of the metal walkway which was coated in SIVA, “I _AM_ RUNNING.”

“RUN _FASTER_.”

The Titan ignored the heat that seemed to burn through his armor. The exit wasn’t far away now, but it was blocked by a wall of SIVA tentacles all thick and angry. Teddy let the energy in his chest roll out in waves. His body felt lighter as his purple Light rolled over his arms and a familiar shield formed in his hands. Teddy leaned forward, putting his shoulder first, and with a loud cry he burst through the SIVA tendrils onto the other side as the final explosion ate away the virus.

The momentum from his charge and from the blast behind him had him tumbling forward into the dirt rather unceremoniously. Teddy just laid there though sucking in deep breaths while Dahlia hovered above him healing anything she saw injured.

“Sugar, you _did_ it!” She hummed in pride, “You did _amazing_!”

Teddy slowly sat up and pulled the busted helmet he had found inside out from his subspace. Dahlia’s voice quieted as he studied it. This was the same helmet as the statue in the Iron Temple of the Iron Lord, Jolder, who gave her life sealing SIVA away ages ago.

“Let’s get this back home.” Dahlia said softly. Teddy rose and let her transmat him back to the ship.

The Iron Temple was still awe inspiring. He had been in here earlier today, when Lord Saladin shared with him the fall of the Iron Lords, but still he found his breath taken away. Saladin himself stood at the opposite end of the room, beyond the flame and before the statues.

“It’s good to see you well.” Lord Saladin said, “Shiro and his companions also made it through the mission with no harm.”

“That’s great to hear.” Teddy replied and came to a stop at the stairs. “The SIVA replicator was destroyed.” He lifted Jolder’s helmet, “We found this near it.”

Lord Saladin looked taken aback for only a moment before he steeled his features. He took the helmet from him and stared down at it with a look that Teddy couldn’t quite read. The Iron Lord sighed, “Thank you. She would be honored.” He turned and put his back to Teddy again, “My brothers and sisters, I will see you again. _Someday_.” Saladin glanced over his shoulder slightly, “You have given them back to me, Guardian.”

Teddy straightened his stance and lifted his chin proudly. His helmet had been removed before entering. Lord Saladin set down the helmet and turned back around with a large sword in his hands. At the sight of it, Teddy’s breath caught in his throat.

“Approach.” Lord Saladin’s voice boomed through the temple. Hesitantly, Teddy walked up the stairs to meet one of his heroes. “There was a time that only Iron Lords carried these blades. There are many like this in our armory, but this one is new.” He thrust the sword into Teddy’s hands and Teddy swore he felt his heart stop. “It is yours, _Young Wolf_. You are the first of a new generation. Take your place as an _Iron Lord_.”

Teddy stared at the sword in his hands with awe, but it dissolved into a firm resolution. He looked back up to meet Lord Saladin’s eyes and gave a firm nod. This wasn’t a title he would take lightly. His eyes drifted to the statues of the Lords before him who carried a similar sword and responsibility. He would live up to his name.

He’d make Pyre-27 and Veya proud.

* * *

I waved at Shiro, a final goodbye of the night, while Cayde yelled something mocking after him. After drowning in SIVA Fallen, and watching a portion of Old Russia die in a giant ball of fire we had gone out for drinks. Shiro had invited the Titan who was the one who actually brought about the success of the mission, but he claimed he had to meet his Fireteam in a bar in the city.

Cayde strolled beside me down the Tower halls away from the bar and toward the apartments. It wasn’t very late so there were still a decent number of Guardians wandering around. We drifted out of the main hall until we reached the railing that overlooked the City. Cayde mumbled something about my birthday, but his voice died down as I held his gaze.

“What is it? What’s on your mind, little bird?”

Shiro said I should talk about it with Cayde. He said I should share with him my nightmares and worries. Cayde was a good mentor and friend. He would listen and he would care, and he could even put my mind at ease, but the thought of troubling him further worried me.

“You’re starting to worry me. Come on. Worst case scenario we can just turn around and go drink some more.” Cayde shrugged.

I chuckled at the suggestion. That didn’t sound too bad actually. I cleared my throat then began. I told him about the lack of sleep I’d get from the nightmares. Hunters had insomnia. Cayde warned me when I first became a Guardian that this was something that plagued others. Still, I told him how bad the dreams were getting. I told him about Oryx and Crota. I told him about being trapped in the Black Garden. Nightmares of the enemies I have defeated coming back to haunt me. Finally, I told him about the nightmare where I died. The one I had awoken to this morning.

Cayde was quiet as he took this all in. He never interrupted me or tried to rush my words. He just let me ramble on and on while listening intently. When my voice grew soft, and the story of my nightmares came to a wrap he nodded.

“I’m glad you told me. I’m _sorry_. I know what that’s like. To have your past haunt you in your dreams.” Cayde tilted his body just a bit so it faced me more. “Have you ever heard of the Deep Stone Crypt?” I shook my head and he continued. “It’s a legend. A rumor. People say it’s where us Exos were born. We dream about it though. Every other Exo I’ve talked to… the dream is similar in some ways, but there’s always a little difference or two. When I have it, I’m facing the Tower. Not this one. The Tower in my dreams, the one I see, is _haunting_. It sits on black, charred ground and there are mountains behind it that interrupt the light from the sun. It’s always evening when I’m there. The sun is always setting and I’m _never_ alone. There are other Exos around me, but I never recognize their faces. We want to reach the Tower, we _have_ to, but this—this _army_ stands in the way.” Cayde lowered his gaze to his hand. “We have to kill the army. No one tells us to, but we _know_ it. That’s the only way to get to the Tower.”

He had grown quiet in thought and I could see him re-living the nightmare in his mind. I set my hand on his shoulder and he jumped slightly under the touch, “What happens?”

“I kill them. Every person I meet.” Cayde answered but the tone in his voice was troubling. Like there was more to the story, but he held it back, “But I never make it to the Tower. I don’t think any of us ever really do.”

Then it dawned on me. _Guardians are haunted_. All of us in some way or another, we have literal ghosts that plague our Light and soul. Maybe the dreams and nightmares were just ways for those ghosts and the darkness to eat at us, the only way they could. To try and stop us from fighting. I couldn’t let it stop me. I couldn’t let myself get distracted by them.

I leaned my head against Cayde’s shoulder and closed my eyes.

“When you have a nightmare, just come find me. Whatever time, ok little bird?”

“Ok.” I answered softly. Cayde placed his own head on top of mine, “But only if you do the same. This should be a two-way street. It’s only fair.”

“Deal.”


	3. ./BOOK OF JUDGE-11/.

> _“These are the Warlocks who walk the line between the Sunsingers and Voidwalkers – the Guardians who are balanced upon the knife’s edge between the passionate drive to consume knowledge and the cold calmness of analysis. Stormcallers exhibit a balance that shows their view of seeking understanding through exploration of the reality they exist within – not through destruction, but through becoming a conduit of the information they seek. This is where their comprehension stems from – not from consumption or deconstruction, but through the balance of both. They view the locus of power as being achieved not through the choice of the storm or the calm, but rather in the delicate balance acquired when both are present.”_

—Ab Intra: Warlock

**++++**

There was fire everywhere, and as I stood on the giant ship’s balcony it felt like the smoke from it suffocated me. The Last City was _burning_. The Tower, _my home_ , was in _shambles_. And the Traveler? I stared at it in despair. The once glowing orb of Light was surrounded by foreign war ships, plumes of smoke, and a black device that now gripped it tightly as if in a chokehold.

“Zavala? Amanda?” I said breathlessly, but only static answered me. “Ikora? _Cayde_??” My voice broke on the last name and panic flared in me. All the comm units were down. My world was on fire and the people I cared for most were missing. “ _Orion_?”

“ _I am here_.” He was out in the open with me, hovering close. “I am here. You are _not_ alone.”

Zavala had sent me onto the ship to take out the shield generator. We were trying to fight back, and though my mission had succeeded it didn’t feel that way.

Ikora had gone after the Speaker, but neither had contacted me.

Zavala and Shaxx were helping with evacuations, but they were silent now.

Cayde had gone to find the source of this mess, but the last time I had seen him was on the Tower when we wished each other luck and parted to fight.

“How do we come back from this?”

I reached for the Light in my chest and nodded with resolve. This wasn’t over. This wasn’t over. This wasn’t—

“You _don’t_.” The voice was gravelly and deep. I whipped around to see Cabal, but not the low-level grunts I had dealt with before. Two smaller guards on the right and left, but my eyes focused on the one in the front. He was the one who spoke. He was larger, triple my size, with grand white armor that was decorated with flecks of gold. Ironically, he wore a large, white backpiece that reminded me of wings. “Welcome to a world _without_ Light.”

My eyes narrowed at his words. He motioned to the Traveler with his arm, and I couldn’t help but turn to look at what he motioned to. The black device on the Traveler began to glow orange and a wave of matching energy washed over the Traveler. Dread settled in me at the sight, but it was interrupted by pain. I gasped when it felt like something had slammed into my stomach. The world around me began to tilt and my vision spun. I stumbled back, but a figure bathed in Light remained where I once stood. _My Light_. My Light remained where I once was.

It felt like all the air in my lungs had been sucked out as the Light faded away. The ever-burning fire in my chest was gone and all that was left was a coldness I only felt in my nightmares anymore. Shakily, my vision still swimming and nausea rolling over me, I lifted my hands to stare at them.

“ _Haru_ …” Orion called out weakly. “Something… Something is _wrong_!”

He wavered in the air, and I went to catch him, but my arms just limply fell to my side. Orion hit the ground and my own body wasn’t far behind. I fell to my knees then collapsed onto my chest. The Cabal in white armor began to march toward me. I gritted my teeth and pushed my chest off the ground, only managing to bring myself to my hands and knees. Weakly, I reached out to grab Orion and pulled him into the safety of my arms. His eye blinked dimly.

All I could feel was dread. It filled every cell in my body. The Cabal loomed over me, but all I could do was lift my head to glare at him. He growled, “Do not look at me. Creature!” He lashed out, kicking me in the side with his boot. I felt my ribs crack at the force and cried out as I went flying across the balcony landing on my back in a puddle. “You are _weak_!” He shouted again as I gasped for breath. I could taste blood in my mouth. “ _Undisciplined_!” The Cabal was marching to me again and I knew I had to move. I had to escape. “Cowering behind walls.” I rolled over off my back and tried to rise to my feet, but I only fell onto my face again. Tears and blood mixed in my helmet visor.

“ _Orion_.” I hissed in a pained whimper, but my Ghost was still unresponsive. My hand tightened around him in desperation.

“You are _not_ brave. You have merely forgotten the fear of death.” The Cabal was closer now and I couldn’t lie here. He would kill me. He would kill Orion. With a cry of pain, I pushed off the ground and unsteadily got onto my feet. He bent down toward my face, “Allow me to reacquaint you.”

Before I could reach for another gun or blade, the Cabal back handed me. Pain flared across my body as I flew backwards. More blood was coughed up as I landed roughly on my back, sliding across the metal, and Orion came loose from my grip. His light body flew further than mine and I watched helplessly as he went over the edge of the ship which was only a foot or so away. Ignoring the screaming pain, I scrambled after him only to stop at the edge of the ship on my knees.

“ _Orion_!” I screamed and reached out futilely. I watched his white and blue shell fall until he disappeared in the flames and smoke entirely.

My hands gripped the edge of the ship. Everything hurt and everything ached. Tears streaked down my cheeks as I stared down at the Earth below. “Your kind never deserved the power you were given.” He drew closer again. Anger began to well up in my gut as I slowly turned to face him, still on my knees. I lifted my shaking hands and ripped off my helmet throwing it aside.

I was alone.

Completely and utterly alone, with a hole where my Light once was. He was going to kill me, just like he killed Orion and others, but he was going to look me in my eyes when he did it. I wanted him to see my face. There was no burning Light in my chest, radiating off my skin, but there was a burning hatred in my eyes, and I wanted him to see it.

“I am Ghaul.” He bent down again to stare me in the eyes. He lifted his hand to point at the Traveler, but I didn’t let my gaze wander from his face, my lips drawn up in a snarl, “And your _Light_ is _mine_.”

Ghaul lifted his boot and lightly pushed it against my head sending me over the edge of the ship. Air whipped around me as I fell through clouds of smoke. I stared at the broken Traveler for as long as my vision remained before the pain overtook me and my eyes drifted closed.

* * *

Two days had passed since the Light was lost.

Every so often, Judge-11 would look down at his hands and picture the familiar hum of his energy dancing around in sparks of electric Light. Like a whisper, he could faintly remember the way it felt to have his energy crackling over his body. Filling the air around him with static. He’d stare up at the Traveler as well, but he could only divulge in these actions for so long before the emptiness in him would grow too strong to stand.

He leaned his helmet against the cool metal of the building behind him while listening to hear the final soldiers of the Red Legion pass by. Since the loss, he had been sneaking in and out of the City trying to find any survivor he could. Judge had snuck out a small family that was hiding, a pair of Guardians who were pinned down under a bridge, and a lost child looking for his mother. Not every trip ended with a life saved, but some did and that was enough for him.

Judge turned the corner and jogged in the shadows before hopping over the ledge of a bridge to the ground below. Another group of Cabal turned the corner above him, and he leaned back against a pile of debris.

His Ghost hummed in his ear and drew his attention to the sight of another Ghost hovering in the air not very far away. He took a step forward, his eyes narrowed in confusion, as the little Ghost stuttered in the air.

“Guardian. _My Guardian_.” His voice was faint, and weak. Heartbroken. “ _Haru_ …”

Nio beeped another warning and Judge didn’t hesitate. He rushed forward, pulling the Ghost into his arms, and then ducked back into the shadows just as another fleet with vehicles passed ahead.

“Ghost, you have to remain quiet and unseen. This is not a safe location.”

“My Guardian is _alone_.” He replied. His shell was scuffed badly and one portion of it was damaged enough that it couldn’t move along with the others. He was shaking, “Haru is _alone_. I _have_ to find her. I promised I wouldn’t ever leave her. I _have_ to find her.”

Judge looked around. It didn’t seem to make sense that the Ghost would be very far from his Guardian, but he saw no sight of an armored ally. He turned his attention back to the Ghost, “Where did you lose her? We can help you find her.”

“The ship.” He replied, his eye lifting to the sky where the war ships floated, “Two days ago, I fell. She’s been _alone_ for two days. _I have to find her_.”

Judge’s internals turned to lead. He didn’t have the heart to tell this little, lost Ghost that his Guardian was more than likely dead. If she had been on one of the ships during the initial attack, they would’ve killed her on sight as soon as her was snuffed out.

“We… We can keep an eye out for her on our way out of the City.” Judge assured him.

“I won’t leave without her.”

Judge couldn’t bring himself to reply.

* * *

_I was flying, a bird trailing white smoke just ahead, and the Traveler appeared before me. Crisp and surrounded in a golden halo of Light. The bird flew on, but my own flight came to an end as I crashed into the ocean below. The water was dark and cold. It was familiar as pressure surrounded me and all I could see was writing bodies crawling over one another trying to reach the Light that hovered above me. A hand wrapped around my ankle, dragging me deeper and the bodies turned to three lines of black triangles slowly moving through the water. One broke free, moving closer and closer to me until it was just within reach. The urge to grab it overwhelmed me, but a familiar voice from behind distracted me. I turned around looking for the source but all I heard now was the sound of a bird whistling as I floated in space. The stars around me morphed into various shapes. A strike of lighting. A black hole. A burning blaze. They faded away and, in the distance, I saw it. A shard of Light, of the Traveler, stark against the forests surrounding it._

My eyes snapped open with a gasp. My head was pounding and there was a ringing in my ears as I stared up at the night sky above. It was tinted with the glow from the City, but it wasn’t the typical glow of life. I took in another shaky breath, but the blood in my mouth caused me to choke. Slowly, I rolled over to let all the blood drip from my lips into the dirt beneath me.

My left arm was broken in multiple places. I couldn’t even feel it at this point, let alone move it, and anytime I tried to bend my knee all I heard and felt was a grinding in the joint. Every breath was agony and I had a feeling that was because none of my ribs were intact. I crawled forward and pulled myself up using a piece of debris to my right.

I had fallen into the City, but I couldn’t even tell where I was. Nothing was recognizable because all major landmarks were demolished or burning. I was standing in the gully of land that traveled under some bridges, and Cabal strolled the streets above me. All I could do was stare at them as they passed.

“Ori…” I opened my mouth to call out, but the memory of watching him fall hit me like a sledgehammer. My feet carried me forward numbly. I didn’t even bother ducking into shadows or behind piles of rubble. With each step it got harder and harder to breathe. I was bleeding internally. I just knew it. Something was very wrong, and when I reached for the Light to comfort me I found nothing but coldness.

I limped onwards. I was dying, but I refused to lie down and do so. If death was going to come for me now, I’d be on my feet. The image of Ghaul kicking me overboard flashed in my mind and the anger I felt from it pushed me forward a few more steps. My vision began to blur in and out. Blackness seeped in from the edges of my eyesight. Embers floating in the sky around me. A single one brushed my cheek and the warmth reminded me of the fire no longer in my chest.

My feet caught rocks and I stumbled forward, barely managing to catch myself before landing on my face. I spat out more blood then kept moving. Cabal voices spoke over the City’s intercom unit, barking orders and chants. As I passed under another large piece of debris, the sight of a figure filled my gaze. It wasn’t Cabal. They were smaller than that. A Guardian. Warlock based off the robes they wore. My legs shook and gave out and I landed on my knees, but they didn’t see or hear it over the Cabal voices.

“H— _Help_.” I called out but my voice was scratchy and weak. I could barely hear it myself. The Warlock turned though, but they didn’t move toward me. A blue eye did. Was it the Warlock’s Ghost?

“ _Guardian_.”

I recognized that voice. The Ghost haphazardly flew through the air to me. My Ghost. _Orion_. He whipped around my head, dancing around me, and immediately began to scan me. I couldn’t even bring myself to speak as I stared at his broken shell.

“Haru, you’re _alive_!” The familiar feeling of being healed overwhelmed me and the first solid breath of air filled my lungs. The air itself was smoky, but it felt good to be able to fully breathe again.

“ _O-Orion_?” I sobbed. I reached forward and pulled him tightly into my chest, resting my face on top of his shell. “I thought I had lost you. I thought I failed you and you were _gone_. _Orion_..”

“I am okay, and so are you. You didn’t fail me; you could _never_ fail me. You’re my Guardian. You’re my family.” Orion said firmly, only love and adoration in his voice. “I’ve missed you so much. You’ve been gone for two days.”

A hand settled on my elbow and I jumped, wrapping my arms protectively around Orion. The Warlock was in front of me now, “We have to leave the City.” His armor was in disrepair, dirty and bloodstained, but it wasn’t in as bad shape as mine was. His robes were red, black, and gold. The helmet he wore matched and had two curved pieces on the side that rose up. “Guardian, we must go.”

“You’re right.” I nodded and I followed after him as we jogged along the gully until we reached the wall. This portion of the wall was destroyed, and we were able to sidestep through the small gap until we reached the wilderness beyond the City limits. I paused and stared at the trees in the distance, snowy mountains behind them. My mind drifted to my dream.

The Warlock let his helmet disperse and turned to me. He was Exo with dark orange features. He had two audio fins, one on either side of his head, that were blue, and the dark blue matched the paint of an upside down ‘U’ that started at his glowing white eyes.

“My name is Judge-11.” He introduced himself, his jaw glowing light blue.

“I’m Haru.” I replied and tried not to let my mind think about the fate of my Exo Vanguard or any other friends who were now Lightless. “Thank you for helping me.”

He nodded once, “I don’t know what you know.” Judge-11 motioned for me to follow him and we both jogged away from the City. “The Red Legion has taken the Light. Taken the City. Taken _everything_. They scour the area killing any powerless Guardians they find.”

“I can’t believe it.” I whispered and glanced over my shoulder to smoldering remains of our home.

“There is a settlement not far from here. It’s the one broadcasting the emergency signal.” Judge-11 continued, “We are… We are evacuating the planet.” My eyes widened at this news, but the Exo didn’t seem to notice. “I can take you to the settlement.”

His tone left me curious, “You don’t stay in the settlement?”

“No. I always return to the City. To look for survivors.” He answered.

It was a noble task. One I wouldn’t mind helping him with if I didn’t have another in mind. My dream… It hadn’t _just_ been a dream. I wasn’t sure how to explain the feeling in my gut, but it was like the whisper of Light. The same whisper that kept me from dying in that fall. If the Traveler used the last of its Light to send me a dream and save me then that must have meant I had to complete the mission it wanted.

“Show me the way, Judge-11.”

* * *

She was _the_ Guardian. He had his suspects the moment he saw her. Haru’s armor and features looked familiar, but the issue with everyone calling her ‘ _the Guardian’_ was that no one said her name. Still, he was positive in his assumption now.

Haru was sleeping still, as he kept watch, and as creepy as it sounded that gave him ample time to really look at her. Her armor was once lighter colors, gray and light blue, but now it was marred with burns, dirt, and blood. Her cloak was the portion of her armor that he truly recognized as the Guardian. She was the only Guardian, other than fresh faced kinderguardians, who wore the gray item that is first given to them. Judge could still remember his first bond. It was similar to it.

Though, technically, she was still was fresh faced. Haru, when awake, had the burning in her eyes of a Guardian with age. One who had seen too much. Asleep though? Her features were soft and calm. She was still so young. Only 3 years old. Judge could hardly remember what he was doing during his third year, but it wasn’t anything so trying as this.

He glanced around the area. The calmness of early morning was nice in the wilderness. If he didn’t think about the reasons why he was out here then he could almost enjoy himself.

“... _Speaker_ …” Judge’s head snapped over to Haru who looked in distress while sleeping. Her face was twisted in pain as she thrashed once. He rose to help her, but her Ghost beat him to it.

Orion glanced at him, “…she has bad dreams. I can handle it.”

Judge watched as the Ghost carefully woke her. Her eyes snapped open and all he saw was fear. Orion whispered comforts to her and slowly the fear dissolved into the same look she had for the past two days of walking. Determination.

She sat up and looked over at him, “Morning. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep in. You should’ve woken me.”

“It’s fine.” He replied, “You needed the rest. Are you alright?”

Haru nodded and gave him a small smile, “Yeah, thanks. Let’s get moving?”

Judge agreed and the two began to trek towards the emergency beacon again. He didn’t think taking her to it would take this long. They had moved camp for some reason, probably to avoid Cabal close to the City, but now it was quite the hike. Judge didn’t feel comfortable enough leaving her to her own devices. She had no weapons, he only had the one himself, and there was an unusual energy about her that made him skeptical.

She was still reeling from whatever had happened to her the day of the attack. Haru didn’t outwardly talk about it, but he could it in the way she held her Ghost or flinched at any new noise.

Besides, it would be good to check on the settlement again.

They walked for another thirty minutes before Judge spotted the antennae broadcasting the signal. It sat on the rim of a ledge and he assumed the camp would be just below. Haru went to jog ahead but he wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled her back. It was too quiet. He didn’t hear the babble of people interacting or breakfast being made.

He motioned to his audio fin and Haru seemed to understand. Cautiously, they moved up the ledge to peak over and all they saw was a bloodbath. It felt like someone had ripped the ground out from under him as he stared at the motionless bodies of Guardian upon Guardian. Haru leaped down and ran forward. He watched as she checked for vitals and looked for a survivor, but Judge knew. They were all gone.

Slowly, he made his way to the young Guardian who now knelt on the ground staring ahead, “Haru-”

“He’s going to pay for this.”

Judge had mistaken her anger for sadness. He assumed she was just mourning, but when he looked at her face, he saw the burning fire of hatred drawn there. Her teeth clenched and her eyes watery.

He agreed with the emotion wholeheartedly.

“Help me.” She said then stood. He watched as she began to move the casualties to one side. Judge had no qualms helping her do so. The Cabal had left their bodies askew and thrown about and leaving his people like this _hurt_. They worked tirelessly, lying each person on their back side by side, shoulder to shoulder.

Twelve Guardians dead.

Judge grabbed spare tarp to cover them, but he came up short. As he looked for more, he was distracted by Haru who unclipped her cloak. The dirty cloth was burned on one edge but still sturdy. She knelt down and covered the last two Guardians with it.

Haru glanced at him and they shared a nod. They were at rest.

Judge moved to grab any spare weaponry or ammo. He didn’t like scavenging from lost Guardians, but the Cabal who did this couldn’t have been far. He liked to think the lost would be ok with them taking the weapons if it meant putting down the Red Legion that did this. He’d feel that way at least.

“Haru, the Cabal snatched up most items, but they missed a few.” He carried a shotgun with limited ammunition toward her.

She whipped around startled and he glanced over to see what she had been staring so intently at. A bird, falcon it looked like, was in the air banking around the curve of small stones around them.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” She questioned.

Judge nodded and tossed her the shotgun. She caught it with ease and immediately went about checking the ammunition and gun itself, “It’s all I could find. Sorry, no hand cannons.”

Haru chuckled softly, “Thank you.”

“I’m going back to the City. To help anyone else I can find. You can join me if you’d like.” He offered. Judge wouldn’t mind her company and he would feel better knowing she wasn’t wandering out here alone with only a couple shotgun shells to her name.

Haru hesitated, glancing over her shoulder again, “Or you could come with me?”

He tilted his head, “And where are you going?”

She pointed out towards the mountains, the same direction the bird traveled in. Haru stepped toward him as she spoke, “I know you want to help people, but the City is _gone_ , Judge.” The Hunter wasn’t wrong, but hearing it hurt all the same, “We should move forward. Find others. Find the Red Legion.”

“And you think that direction is where they will be?” He nodded toward the mountain which looked to be covered in snow. There was something she wasn’t sharing. Judge wasn’t stupid, and he could see this. Nio buzzed in his ear an agreement. “What makes you so sure?”

Haru straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. Her skin was pale these days with dried blood and dirt splattered about, but her dark brown eyes held that fire he had seen since day one. Her lips twitched up into a small smirk, “Call it a gut feeling.”

Judge was aware of how proudly the Hunters held their instincts. Some simple- or closed-minded Titans and Warlocks mocked them for it, but Judge knew better. He had seen Hunters notice the smallest things, had seen them make an impossible call that ended up saving the entire fireteam at hand. Judge would be foolish to dismiss the Hunter’s instinct now. Especially, the instincts of _the_ Guardian.

“Maybe you’re right.” He nodded. “You won’t mind the company?”

Haru, for the first time since he met her, smiled, “I welcome it.”

After giving the destroyed camp one last parting sweep, they began to move forward to the mountain. They only got a mile or so ahead when the Cabal showed up. There were only two Cabal grunts, but they were nearly overwhelmed by the number of war beasts. Judge fired at the last solider then turned, “ _Haru_!”

At her name she ducked and the Cabal war beast that leapt at her went flying over her head. She shot him with the shotgun, then used the butt of the weapon to beat down another that attacked her. Judge moved to help her, as three more had swarmed around her, but he was tackled by one himself.

With a grunt, he elbowed the war beast off him then fired the last of his ammunition into it. He rolled up, Nio warning him in his head, just in time to see Haru knife the beast in front of her while another knocked her down to the ground. Before he could rush forward and kick it off a blast shot the war beast away. She was able to stand and use the shotgun on the last one.

“Haru”, He jogged over and helped her to her feet, “You alright?”

“Peachy.” She groaned and rubbed the back of her neck. They turned just in time to see a Titan jump from a ledge and walk over. His blocky armor was painted in shades of black and white, the Mark hanging from his belt held the familiar figures of an Iron Lord.

“You guys alright?” He removed his helmet to reveal a human with blond hair and blue-gray eyes. Judge recognized the man easily now. _The Young Wolf._ The only Guardian to earn the title of Iron Lord in this century.

His Ghost, a flash of pink and white, materialized and zoomed around both him and Haru, “Sugar, do they _look_ alright?? Poor things just got attacked by those damned hounds.” She cooed at Haru who offered the Ghost a smile, “This poor child. Are you ok, hon??”

“I’m alright.” She nodded and glanced at him, “We both are. Thanks for the save.”

“It’s no— _Dahlia, hush_! It’s no problem.” He stepped closer and offered his hand to both of us to shake, “The name’s Teddy.”

Judge shook his hand last, “I’m Judge-11. This is Kang Haru.”

Teddy grinned brightly, “No offense, but I already know who you two are.” He motioned to Haru, “You’re _the_ Guardian. The Hunter that _slayed_ Oryx. You helped me out during the SIVA crisis a year ago, but I never got around to saying thanks.”

Recognition passed on Haru’s face, “Oh! _Teddy_! Shiro mentioned your name to us.”

Teddy nodded then turned to him with that same excited grin, “And _you_. You’re a _Thanatonaut_ , maybe one of the last ones.”

Haru turned to Judge, “Thanatonaut?”

“A Warlock who dies voluntarily in order to receive visions from the Light before being revived.” Teddy explained chirpily.

It was a life Judge had given up on many years ago. He shook his head, “It doesn’t come in much help now, does it?”

Teddy faltered and his grin slipped from his face. Judge felt badly that he was the cause. “Right. Yeah.”

Haru clears her throat, “Where were you heading?”

Teddy nods and opens his mouth but Dahlia, his Ghost, interrupts him, “We were picking up an emergency broadcast not too far from here!” Teddy, apparently used to this behavior from his Ghost, just nodded and added, “The signal cut off not too long ago, but I think we’re close enough to find it anyways.”

Judge glanced over at Haru to see she was already staring back at him in pain. Teddy questioned their silence and Judge took it upon himself to reply, “We were just there. The Cabal beat us all to it. There were no survivors.”

Teddy’s jaw clenched before he lashed out hit the rock behind him. There was a crack and Judge wasn’t sure if it was his armor or the stone, “Fuck. How many?” They hesitated again, “ _How many_??”

“Twelve Guardians.” Haru whispered before he could speak. Teddy cursed again loudly. This wasn’t the normal for any of them. In his 87 years as a Guardian he had personally seen the final death of 5 Guardians. Just 5. Today alone, he helped put to rest 12.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

Teddy scoffed, “How could this have happened? How could they take _our_ Light? How could _we_ have _let_ them!?”

Judge glanced over at Haru to see the fire dim in her eyes. Pain washed over her features and she looked like she slipped back into a traumatic memory. He glanced at Teddy, who was still fuming, and cleared his throat quietly. The Titan noticed him, and Judge worried he wouldn’t be able to understand the message across his face.

Luckily, the Titan did seem to understand. His eyes darted to Haru who was now staring at the mountain. Teddy sighed, “Where were you guys heading?”

“Up the mountain.” Judge answered.

Teddy shook his head, “I came from that direction. There are only Cabal up there. No settlements or survivors.” Haru snapped her head back to the two men, her attention realigning with the conversation. Teddy continued, “I heard there could be another settlement west of here.”

He motioned to the opposite direction of the mountain. Haru shook her head, “No.” She glanced at Judge, “We _have_ to go up the mountain. That’s where we’re needed.”

“What makes you so sure?” Teddy questioned, but his tone wasn’t harsh. Just curious.

“I… I don’t know.”

Haru wandered away from them and Teddy crossed his arms before turning to him. Judge shrugged after a moment, “She’s _the_ Guardian. Seemed like the best bet.”

“True. What has she told you about the Light being taken?”

“Nothing.”

Teddy raised a blond eyebrow at him, the look in his gray blue eyes skeptical, “She was on the main warship when this went down. Zavala sent her there himself she-”

“I don’t want to push her.” Judge interrupted him firmly, “Based off what I’ve gathered and what she looked like when I met her, she fell from that ship. She should be dead, but she _isn’t_. Whatever happened was traumatizing. Trying to get her to talk about it now will only upset her and make her an easy target out here. I don’t want to be the one that got the Guardian killed out in the wilderness because I needed to sate my curiosity.”

“Fair point.” Teddy waved his finger at him, “Here’s my counter argument, I _really_ wanna know what the hell happened and _who_ the hell took our Light. My fantasy of killing this jackass is incomplete without a name and face.”

Judge stepped toward him, leveling a glare, “Don’t push her.”

The Young Wolf held his hands up in mock surrender, “I’ll leave it be. _Promise_.” He sidestepped away and jogged over to Haru. Judge came over slower, still eyeing the Titan hesitantly. He had been careful not to broach the topic the past two days. He’d be pissed if this Iron Lord screwed it up.

“Nice shotgun. I’ll trade you this hand cannon for it?” Teddy held up his weapon, that from the looks of it he had scavenged as well.

Haru smiled and offered him the shotgun, “Absolutely.”

“Thank God. I wasn’t gonna follow you guys up the mountain with just my good looks and a hand cannon I’m only competent at.”

Haru, who was studying the gun in her hand, looked up with wide eyes, “You’re going to come with us?”

Teddy shrugged, “If you’ll have me. Strength in numbers, right? And we can use all the strength we can get.”

The Hunter turned to look at Judge, as if asking his permission and opinion, and he was surprised by the action. He thought she’d just take the decision into her own hands. Judge glanced at the Titan again. Teddy wasn’t wrong and having the Young Wolf as back up wasn’t the worst thing in the worlds. He nodded once.

Haru smiled and spun the hand cannon once in her hand, “Let’s get going then!”

Judge made the mental note that they were an odd trio as Haru began to lead the way again. The Guardian, the Young Wolf, and a Thanatonaut walked up a mountain… it sounded like the beginnings of a poorly written joke.

* * *

_“Listen closely, the Traveler is speaking…”_

My eyes snapped open. The remainder of my dream starting to fade in my mind. Every so often my nightmares would be interrupted by a dream of the Speaker. We’d stand in a white room together and he would talk, but all his words sounded like whispers. I’d strain to hear him, but only catch every other word or so. It was frustrating, but I preferred it over the dreams of falling.

I shifted slightly where I was lying and felt the armor of Judge’s back pressed against the side of my leg while Teddy stood off to the side on watch, his back to me entirely. I had traveled with the two of them for three days now. It had been a week since the attack. The first night with both of them, I woke up from a nightmare to find Teddy sleeping against me. If it wasn’t him then it was Judge.

Having them close like that helped the nightmares some. If we were back on the Tower and my nightmares were acting up, I’d go find Cayde and just having him near me put me at ease. Out here, without my Light, the nightmares were _worse_ , and I was sure I’d never get any sleep, but Judge and Teddy assured that I did. I hadn’t asked them to do this, and to be honest I wasn’t really sure how they knew. Judge mentioned once it was Teddy’s idea, but he wouldn’t elaborate and said I had to speak to him myself.

I slowly sat up, careful not to stir Judge, and stood. The Exo was a good presence to have. He had a calming aura about him. Levelheaded and sure of his actions. He hadn’t seemed panicked at all during our trek up the mountains and that was hella impressive since I kinda felt like I was falling apart at the seams.

“Morning.” Teddy chirped as I got closer, “How’d you sleep?”

“Good. Thanks.” I replied and hugged my body. We were a decent bit up the mountains, and everything was covered in a layer of snow. My armor kept me sort of warm, warm enough that I wasn’t going to die of exposure but being cold wasn’t something I was used to at all. Usually the sun that lived in my chest burned hot enough to always keep me comfortable. Without the Light though, the cold seeped into me.

Teddy chuckled, “Chilly?”

“Yeah.” I bobbed my head and used my hands to rub the arms of my armor, “I’m not used to being cold, I guess. Is that weird?”

The Titan shook his head, “No. I like the weather up here for the same reason you hate it.” I tilted my head in curiosity and that was enough for him to continue with a sad chuckle, “You’re a Gunslinger. The fire of your Light burns through you, and without it you’re cold. I’m a Sentinel. Without my Void energy… nothing feels right. The coldness of the air all the way up here… it reminds me of that energy. I wish it were colder.”

I hadn’t thought about that. When I thought about it now, I realized I didn’t spend much time with Guardians who had differing energy from me. Not enough to understand how they felt without their Light right now. Teddy took a deep breath and I watched the fog slip from his lips as he breathed out.

“Hey, Teddy, can I ask you something?”

Teddy glanced at me again, a few fresh snowflakes gathered in his messy hair, “What’s up?”

“You and Judge… you guys sleep close to me at night-”

“ _Sorry_.” A sheepish look crossed his face, “That’s on me. We didn’t mean to cross any boundaries and we probably should have asked but you never brought it up? I just-”

I quickly shook my hands, “No, no, no! I’m not mad. It’s really been helpful, and I appreciate it even though you guys don’t owe me that. I was just wondering… how’d you know that it would help?”

Teddy paused and a small smile settled on his features, but it was a sad one. He dragged his armored fingers through the scruff on his face that had only gotten thicker over the last three days, “Judge asked me that too. How I knew. He asked the first night when I did it, I—” He paused to take in a sharp breath, “I used to be good friends with a Hunter. He was part of my Fireteam. He had bad issues with staying asleep. So, we would always lie next to him. He said having someone close was a comfort. If he woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, being able to see me or V helped him fall back asleep. I noticed you were having that issue and I thought it might help.”

“It does.” I nodded. He said used to and based off the look on his face he didn’t just have a falling out with the Hunter from his past. He must have lost him. “I’m sorry about your Fireteam…”

Teddy chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, “Thanks. We had been working together for 11 years.” He must have understood the question lingering in my mind and continued, “It happened a while ago though. Little over 5 years now. Haven’t been part of a Fireteam since.”

“I’ve never been part of one.” I shrugged.

Teddy’s eyes widened, “ _Never_? You’re the Guardian though, people must have been lined up around the block to work with you.”

“When I first became a Guardian, people asked me. Others my age. I always turned them down though because I was still trying to figure everything out.” I explained. “Then after what happened with Oryx… Well, I got a lot of requests, but it always felt like they just wanted the Guardian, and not… not _me_. I know that probably sounds silly.”

Teddy shook his head, “Not at all. I got a lot of attention after Lord Saladin named me an Iron Lord. I get what it feels like to be wanted for your title and not who you are.”

There was a beat of silence before the sound of someone walking over made both of us glance over our shoulder. Judge was rolling his shoulders, stretching, “You guys ready to go?”

“Good morning to you too, sunshine.” Teddy replied and I chuckled. Judge rolled his eyes good naturedly. “We were talking about Fireteams. Little Haru’s never been part of one.”

I nodded to confirm this statement. Judge seemed surprise but he didn’t question it. I motioned to him, “Have you?”

“Yes.” He paused in thought and I wondered if he had lost his as well and this was difficult, but then he spoke up again, “74? 77, actually. Nio says maybe 80.”

Teddy spun around entirely to face him, “80 Fireteams?? _What_??”

Judge just shrugged, “I acted as a substitute. When Fireteams needed a Warlock to step in while theirs was away on a special mission or training with Ikora, they’d ask me to fill the role. Typically, it’d only be for a mission or two.”

“But you never had a Fireteam you were with for a long time?” I asked.

Judge shook his head, “Never found anybody I was willing to work with for that long, I guess.” He tilted his head, obviously done with talking about it any further, “We should get moving.”

As we began to trek further up the mountain, I led the way with both men following behind me a few feet. I could hear them talking about something, but Orion materialized to float above my shoulder.

“What was your dream last night? You weren’t as distressed. Was it the Speaker?”

“Yeah.” I answered. Orion didn’t have to voice his next question. “All I remember actually is hearing him telling me to listen. To listen because the Traveler is speaking.”

Orion hummed, “The Traveler hasn’t spoken in ages. He’s been asleep, but the vision you had-”

“We don’t know if it was a vision or a death induced hallucination, O.”

My Ghost scoffed, “It was a _vision_. The Traveler _spoke_ to you, and now the Speaker is telling you to _listen_. Something big is happening.”

I shrugged, “Well, we haven’t seen the bird in days so maybe we missed it.”

“Fate doesn’t work like that.” Orion argued. “You won’t just miss it unless you choose to deliberately miss it.”

I lifted my hand to rest against him as he leaned into my neck. Every once in a while, I was reminded of how close I had come to losing him and it made my heart ache in pain. Honestly, I didn’t know what I would do without him. Orion had become my rock. He never led me astray and because of him I was never truly alone.

The mountain came to a ledge that veered off to the right, but when I reached the top my feet came to a screeching halt. Teddy nearly ran into me, and Judge into him, but they didn’t even question my actions when their eyes landed on the sight before us.

In the distance, was the Traveler. It hovered over a still burning city with dark clouds of smoke billowing around it. The sight was painful to look at. Teddy’s breath hitched from beside me, “ _Oh my Light_.”

Judge mumbled something in another language. It sounded soft and pained, like a prayer, but I remained speechless. Seeing my home burning with war ships hovering over it was like a kick to the teeth all over again.

Ghaul was going to pay.

_Ghaul was going to die._

The mountain shook as a ship began to pass and we all pressed our bodies against the side of the mountain just to be extra cautious. Judge spoke up first, “Neither of your comms are working yet, are they?”

“No. I’ve had Dahlia working on it.” Teddy replied, “She can’t get anything in or out though because of all the noise the Cabal are making in the City. It’s jamming everything.”

I opened my mouth to ask Orion if he’s tried anything when the sound of a large bird screeching made me freeze. It flew by us and around the bend. Without hesitating, I took off after it. The ledge around the side of the mountain was narrow, and in my rush my foot slipped once.

“Haru, be careful!” Judge cried. His voice was not far behind me.

Orion scolded me as well, but I continued forward. I was not going to lose track of this damned bird again. Not when our home was _burning_. The ledge went back to being solid ground and I was able to start sprinting. Judge and Teddy were behind me, but they weren’t as quick as I was, so they followed from a distance.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Teddy barked in confusion.

I pushed myself forward, determined to catch up to it, but as we reached a section of land with mountain on either side I came to another sudden stop. This time Judge did slam into my back, and Teddy into his, and we all went sprawling to the ground.

“What are you _on_ , Hunter??” Teddy rolled off us.

I jumped up and pulled out the hand cannon Teddy had given me. Without question, the two of them pulled out their own weapons. I glanced around, not seeing anything, but I could feel something not far off. Danger. Trouble. _Cabal_.

“You see something?” Teddy asked.

“No, not yet.” I mumbled.

A second later a Cabal war beast appeared at the top of one of the many rocks that filled the land in front of us. It growled and lunged just as six more ran around the rock to us. We split into three, with Teddy on the left and Judge on the right, to clear out the war beasts. Behind them though came a three Cabal soldiers. Two Incendiors and one Phalanx.

The Incendiors opened fire, literally, and the heat of their weapons had me sprawling back. Judge sprayed them with a round of bullets and the Phalanx opened his shield covering all three.

“Haru, jump!” Teddy barked. I glanced over to see his hand open and by some miracle I knew exactly what he wanted. Judge continued firing to keep them distracted while I sprinted to Teddy. When close enough I leaped up, landing on his hand, and he launched me up into the air over their hands. While over them, I fired twice at the pack on the one Incendiors back and it exploded dazing the other two. I hit the ground and rolled as Judge and Teddy took out the other two when the Cabal looked to me.

Judge brushed off his robes, “Haru, are you ok?”

I gave him a thumbs up, “Yeah. I’m good.”

“That was _perfect_!” Teddy cheered. He jogged over and held his hand up for a high five. He held it high over his head with a grin and I had to jump to slap it. Judge came over and when he was in reach Teddy slapped his hand on the Exo’s shoulder with a shake, “Those Cabal didn’t even know what hit ‘em.”

The caw of a bird made me glance over my shoulder to see the bird sitting on the stone. I glanced back at the man. Teddy pointed to the bird, “Is it following us or are we following it?”

“We’re following it.” Judge replied. It didn’t surprise me that he knew, he was a perceptive guy, but it did surprise me that he hadn’t called me on it and followed anyways.

“So, we _are_ following a bird…?” Teddy asked slowly as if he was testing each word out on his tongue. “Like _officially_? Because I’m cool with it, I mean I’ve come this far with you guys, but it’d be nice for some confirmation.”

I glanced from him to Judge. Neither of them asked why I wanted to follow the random ass bird into the middle of nowhere. They didn’t even seem all to startled by the fact of it. I took in a slow breath, “We’re following the bird because the Traveler told me to.”

Judge and Teddy shared a glance, both skeptical and nervous, before looking back at me. I opened my mouth to argue, but Judge shook his head, “Ok. Let’s follow the bird.”

“Because I said so, and I’m the slayer of Oryx?”

Judge chuckled before looking to Teddy and then walking past me. Teddy clapped me on both shoulders with a wide grin, “Because we like your _style_. Now come on, _lil’bit_ , let’s follow a bird.”

I smiled at him and the bird took off. We followed after it for a bit going down the mountain now. We went far down enough that the snow turned back into dirt. It came to a stop beyond a gap and I eyeballed it. I could make that.

I could make that.

Quickly, I leaned back before taking off but before I could push off the edge an arm wrapped around my waist, “ _What are you doing_!?”

“ _Jumping the gap_!”

“You _can’t_ make that gap!” Teddy yelled and held me tightly.

“Guys, get away from the edge.”

“I _could’ve_ made it! _For sure_!”

Teddy shook his head, “Only if I _threw_ you.”

“ _Kinderguardians_ , the _edge_!”

“Hey I’m _16 years_ -”

The bird cried out and the ledge below us started to crumble. Teddy and Judge scrambled back, me still in Teddy’s arm, but we didn’t get back fast enough. The edge gave out and we all went tumbling over to the ground below.

I groaned in pain, buried half under rubble and half under two grown Guardians. Teddy mumbled a curse and Judge breathed something in another language. It sounded like the language of the Fallen.

“Oh look. Someone left three good Guardians just lying around. What a shame.”

Teddy rolled off me and I sat up to see a new figure standing over us. She was human with dark skin and purple dots painted on her face in a circle. Her dark hair was covered by the lavender hood of the hoodie she wore.

Orion came out to heal the bruises along my spine. I stood up, and the two guys beside me were quick to do the same. The woman crossed her arms with a smirk, “Things must be worse than I thought.”

A sudden explosion on the mountain made us all glance over. The woman jogged backwards, “That’s our cue.” She turned and I finally noticed the airship behind her along with a few other people wearing military grade gear.

“Where are you going?” Judge questioned.

“As far away from that as possible.” As she spoke, she lifted her arm and the bird landed on it. I gasped and Teddy pointed to it while the woman gave us a curious look.

I shook my head, “The bird belongs to you??”

“Yes. I’m Hawthorne and this is Louis.” She lifted her arm and the falcon spread his wings out once, “You Guardians need a ride?”

I glanced at the ship before looking back to her and the bird, a grin spreading across my features, “ _Absolutely_.”

* * *

She had a vision from the Traveler that the bird would lead her to a shard and the shard would bring the Light. Teddy wasn’t troubled by the news of said vision. He had already proved to be very casual and with the flow. The Titan, proving to match the bias of his kind, was loyal nearly to a fault. Teddy had joined their party and no news of odd visions would shake him from it.

Judge didn’t question it because he was familiar with visions. Haru couldn’t offer many details, but that was the issue with visions sometimes. They offered a feeling but no definitive picture. Haru felt that the Light was calling her to the dead zone and that was enough for him. So far, the bird had led them accordingly, why stop now anyways?

“Thanatonaut. Death Walker, is what Orion called you.” Haru sat next to him at the back of Hawthorne’s ship while Teddy stood up by the cockpit speaking to her. Judge was surprised she hadn’t brought this up sooner. “So, you’ve had… _visions_?”

Judge nodded, “I used to, yes.”

“Not anymore?”

“I gave it up.” Judge replied. “It wasn’t the life I wanted anymore.”

Haru leaned back in her seat, “Why?”

“Did Orion tell you how it worked?” He asked and she shook her head. Judge continued, “The practice began in Crucible. The repeated deaths, the constant resurrections, Warlocks began to notice flickers of something beyond. We had gathered so much knowledge in everything, but we still hadn’t grasped the secret of death. The _final_ death.” Judge paused and thought back to the days where he would willingly die to seek what he thought was the truth, “The longer you spent dead before your Ghost resurrected you, the more _clarity_ you could find, but there were risks… Too long and your Ghost would lose you for good. With every vision gained there would be gaps in one’s memory. Parts of me would slip away in order for me to gain this knowledge.”

Haru waited for him to pause before speaking, “Was it worth it? Losing parts of yourself for the knowledge?”

“I used to think so.” Judge replied. “But now I am not so sure.”

“Do you regret it?”

He tilted his head in thought, “You know… No one has ever asked me that before.”

Teddy came over loudly while putting his helmet on, “Hey, get ready to trasnmat down.”

They stood and seconds later they were transported down to the Earth below. The area was clear of any activity or enemies. Judge activated his own helmet and glanced around just to be absolute certain of the location.

“ _You guys sure about this?”_ Hawthorne asked over the short distance radio line. She had dropped them off as close as she could to the shard before heading back, “ _The shard is the reason this place is called the_ dead _zone.”_

Teddy double checked the automatic rifle Hawthorne had given him as they walked, “The dead zone is a _very_ welcoming name. I could vacation here.”

The entire area was overgrown with nature. All buildings and roads were covered in lush layers of greenery, and there weren’t any typical noises that went along with the wilderness. No birds singing, no animals moving, not even a breeze to rustle amongst the trees. It was unnerving.

Judge glanced over at Haru who had grown quiet since they set foot in the area. Her eyes were lifted to the skyline ahead where the edge of the shard could be seen.

“ _Most people are put off by the dark haunted forest_.” Hawthorne could still be heard warning them.

Judge ducked through the darkened tree limbs towards the entrance of a cave. Teddy followed behind him with Haru. He cleared his throat, “I would just like to point out that _neither_ of you reacted to the words _‘dark haunted forest’_ quite like you should’ve.”

Nio who was currently floating beside him whistled loudly followed by a series of beeps and Teddy whipped around. The Titan had his helmet on, but Judge could feel the light glare, “What did your Ghost just call me?”

Nio disappeared and Judge grinned behind his own helmet. He lied smoothly, “Nothing.”

As they got deeper into the cave, Hawthorne spoke up only to cut out as the radio line disconnected. Judge tried to reach out again, but only got static. He mumbled a curse under his breath. They reached the edge of the cave ledge that dropped down into a deeper portion. Teddy shivered beside him, “Whoa. Do you guys feel that?”

He did. There was energy in the air. Crackling and sharp.

“It’s the _Light_.” Haru murmured.

From then on, they met adversity. Fallen filled the cave and they were forced to battle through them to get out of the cave, and once out they only met more Fallen who were swarming the area. More than likely to try and claim the shard for themselves.

“Clear!” Teddy called out from his patch of the woods to the right.

“I’m clear too.” Haru called from the left.

Judge glanced around his own area and agreed. They pushed forward and met again where the paths connected into a clearing where the shard sat. Around it were pools of a luminous liquid and plants that seemed to glow with shades of blue and purple. Rocks of various sizes floated randomly in the air due to the energy imbalance. The shard itself was a wall of white stone with blackened edges and sparks of electricity and energy bouncing from spot to spot. At the center of the White though were cracks where Light poured out.

Orion, Nio, and Dahlia all materialized and whispered to each other as they neared the Traveler’s shard. Haru took in a sharp breath and he looked over at her. She had a look of awe on her face as she stared up at the shard. Unlike them, she no longer had a helmet to wear so Judge could see every emotion she wore.

“This is why we’re here.” She said softly. “The Light. Do you feel it?”

Teddy stepped closer, “I feel something.”

The Ghosts turned and with a flicker of Light everything changed. Judge felt his entire body go flush with energy. It felt like he had placed his hand on a live wire. Light sparked at his fingertips and jumped from spot to spot on his body. He felt strong. He felt whole.

“ _Hell yeah_!”

Judge looked over at the cheering Teddy who had purple energy radiating off him as the stones and dirt by his feet rose at the gravity shift. He chuckled and turned to Haru. The sight of her made him lose his metaphorical breath.

He had seen this before ages and ages ago.

The last vision he had as a Thanatonaut was the one that convinced him to throw that life away.

It had started as his typical dream of the Deep Stone Crypt and he remembered wondering if it was a vision or just him falling asleep. The Tower sat ahead of him, armies before him and the desire for bloodlust filled his body. He mowed through them, forced to kill people he knew, but at the end he reached a girl.

The girl stood before the Tower, his last obstacle, but he couldn’t recognize her face.

She was bathed in fire, smoke rising from the ground that she burned.

Her smile was peaceful, but her eyes burned with resolve and purpose.

Haru stood before him now, glowing like the sun, and he realized he had finally stumbled upon his last vision while seeking her own. He didn’t know what this meant. That was unclear, but he knew it was fate that brought him here.

_“Eyes up, Guardians.”_


	4. ./BOOK OF HAWTHORNE/.

> “No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.”

– C.S. lewis

**++++**

The Farm was crowded with both lightless Guardians and civilians. Crowded was crowded though, it didn’t quite matter who took up the space just that they did. Suddenly being surrounded by people was jarring, but she couldn’t bring herself to truly find the situation distasteful. Crowded meant that lives had been saved. Yes, there was less room to kick back and stretch out but only because the missions to pull people to safety had gone very, very well.

As much as Hawthorne hated to admit it, and damn did she really hate to admit it, the three Guardians she found tumbling off a cliffside had come in handy the last week. After finding their Light at the shard, they kept their promise to help and worked with her and Devrim on missions to make the area a proper refuge.

Hawthorne leaned against the railing of the second-floor cabin with Louis perched by her side. Down below, the Farm buzzed with life, but she couldn’t pull her eyes away from the Guardians. The largest one, Teddy, had stripped of his armor leaving only casual clothes on as he played soccer with a group of kids. It seemed odd to see the man in sweatpants and a t-shirt he found that was a size too small for him. He didn’t seem to care though and the kids laughing around him didn’t either. The Exo on the other hand, Judge, was right below her speaking to a group of mechanics who were asking questions. Apparently, this Guardian had some knowledge of ships. He still had on his armor, but no helmet.

The last Guardian, Haru, wasn’t mingling with any one right now. She was sitting alone on the rooftop of the building across from Hawthorne. Haru was sitting with her legs hanging off the roof with her gaze out toward the forest. She hadn’t moved from the spot for the past hour. Hawthorne was curious as to what was going on in the Hunter’s mind. She always seemed bubbly enough while working with the other Guardians or when she was down and mingling. It was only in the evenings that she would slip away and stare off at the horizon alone.

“It’s rude to stare, Suraya.”

Hawthorne glanced over her shoulder to see Devrim walking out onto the balcony with a chuckle. His sniper rifle was strapped onto his back. He must have just come back from the EDZ. She scoffed, “Only if the person you’re staring at catches you.”

Devrim followed her gaze up to where Haru sat. He looked back to her, reaching out to pet Louis lightly, “Marc has been telling me to invite the Guardians over for tea. As a thank you.”

“How fun.” Hawthorne chuckled.

Devrim grinned, “I like them. They’re an odd little group, but they’re good. Not just at being Guardians.” He motioned towards the Farm, “They’re good to their core.”

“I suppose we could’ve been stuck with worse.” Hawthorne agreed while watching the kids tackle Teddy to the ground out in the field. She couldn’t help but smile when the Titan just laid on the ground and took defeat from the much smaller children. Her eyes darted back to Haru who had her eyes closed now with her small Ghost leaning against her forehead. “None of them strike you as… unusual?”

“How so?”

“Haru.” She motioned with her head. “Doesn’t something just feel… _off_? Plus, I’ve seen her smile and laugh with the other two Guardians and I’ve seen her talking with civilians, but when evening comes it’s like something just _switches off_.”

Hawthorne snapped her fingers at the last word. Despite everything, she wasn’t entirely sure she could put her trust in these three Guardians. They were Guardians. How many times had she been let down by them?

Devrim shook his head, “You’re letting your bias cloud your judgement, Suraya.”

She glared at him lightly, “I am not. Why would you say that?”

“Because”, He pointed to Haru, “If you weren’t, you’d see that’s a girl in mourning. Just because she can smile during the day doesn’t mean she isn’t plagued with sadness.” Devrim paused in thought before continuing with another shake of his head, “Guardians are strange, but if you consider their life, how they live… how could they _not_ be?”

Hawthorne didn’t reply and Devrim set his hand on her back. She turned and he pulled her into a quick hug. Devrim wished her a good night before heading home for the night. She turned her gaze back to Haru with curiosity.

“She’s only three.” The voice startled Hawthorne. She leaned over the railing to see Judge was alone now. The other mechanics had dispersed from him, but he remained in the same spot with his arms crossed over his chest. Judge had been looking up at Haru before glancing over at Teddy as well.

“What?”

Judge took a step forward and turned so he could look up at her, “She’s only three, and yet somehow she’s managed to see more trauma and horrors in those three years than I have in 87.”

Hawthorne recognized the tone in the Exo’s voice. Loyal, protective.

She had heard the stories about her. Lightless Guardians at the Farm would whisper, rather loudly too, anytime Haru was in the area. Hawthorne saw the looks she got from them. She gave the Exo a slight nod that he returned after a moment.

Judge turned back to look at his friends again only to jump slightly in place. Hawthorne watched as he jogged to the field, his Ghost whirling around him in a panic, “ _Teddy_! You _can’t_ carry that many children, you’re going to _drop one_!”

* * *

The sun had disappeared and lights around the camp were lit for those still out and about. Hawthorne had just wrapped up on talking about mission specs with a few others. More plans on trying to get communications back up. She’d have to talk to the Guardians in the morning and see if they were up for a full day of ruining the Cabal’s hold on part of the EDZ.

Hawthorne turned to leave the balcony when she spotted Haru climbing down from the building with incredible ease. The three of them slept in the back room of the building Hawthorne was currently at so the Guardian was making her way in the direction of the balcony.

“Hey, Guardian.”

Haru didn’t jump or seem surprise, she just lifted her gaze up, “Hey, Hawthorne. You need something?”

“Come up here a second, will you?”

Rather than going indoors and climbing up the flight of stairs, Haru took a running start before leaping up onto a set of boxes and grabbing the railing. She pulled herself up with ease then sat on the railing. Haru greeted her with a look of confusion, “Is everything ok? You have a mission for us?”

“Technically yes, but that’s not why I wanted to talk.” Hawthorne leaned against the railing beside her. She wasn’t even entirely sure what she wanted to talk about. Devrim had gotten into her head. That’s why she called the strange Guardian up here, and now she had to somehow start a conversation. Haru remained quiet, her gaze had drifted out to the peaceful farm around them. There was a sadness radiating from her. “Are you alright?”

Haru startled and her gaze snapped back. The Guardian blinked in confusion a few times before she pointed to herself, “Me? Am I ok?” Hawthorne nodded. Her question had been clear and there wasn’t anyone else around she could be asking. Why would she be so caught off guard by it? Haru looked away, “I guess I am.”

“You _guess_?”

Haru shrugged, “I’m alive. I’m safe here on the Farm. I have my Light back, and I have Judge and Teddy and Orion… _Orion is safe_. So, I guess, I’m ok.”

Hawthorne shook her head, “Listing a bunch of facts about where you are and who is with you doesn’t make you ok. You can still be… _not_ ok.”

The Guardian seemed to be hung on every word, and Hawthorne felt awkward under her gaze. This wasn’t her cup of tea. She wasn’t the kind to give hopeful speeches of tender care to the ones who needed it. Hawthorne had always been the tough love kind, and she still couldn’t fathom what this Guardian could possibly learn from her.

“I don’t think—” Haru forced her words to a halt, her teeth digging into her lower lip. “It’s not _right_ for me to feel this way. Compared to the other Guardians, I have it good. I have my Light back which means I need to fight and protect and there is _no_ room for me to be scared or—or _worried_ or—… _not ok_.”

Hawthorne shook her head, “That isn’t how sadness or fear work. You shouldn’t belittle what you feel based off what you think someone else feels. Just because you think you’re better off than them doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel any sort of way.” Haru nodded once, her fingers clawing at a belt around her thigh absentmindedly. Hawthorne stepped closer, “What are you scared of, Guardian?”

The air around them seemed to raise in temperature a few degrees. The night air was already warm and humid, and the increase in heat didn’t help. It was coming off the Guardian in waves. Solar Guardians always ran a little warm, but all the nervous energy Haru felt seemed to be converted into the wave of warmth. Hawthorne was surprised by that. She wasn’t aware their emotions had anything to do with that, but then again, she had never been very close to or with any Guardians.

“ _Death_.”

Hawthorne was taken aback, “Well, I guess it’s a good thing you got your Light back then.”

Haru shook her head then snapped her gaze onto Hawthorne. She had never seen such a look on the smaller Guardians face. Dread mingled with fear and self-doubt. Haru spoke slowly, “Not _my_ death.”

“You’re worried about the other Guardians. Your friends.” Hawthorne understood.

“I haven’t heard from anyone since the Tower fell. Amanda was always safe on the Tower and even though she isn’t a Guardian I still never worried that she’d be in danger until now. Even on missions, it never crossed my mind. Ikora and the Speaker. Zavala and Shaxx. Banshee—” Haru continued to rattle off names that Hawthorne didn’t recognize. The rant was frazzled and fearful, and she was beginning to think the Guardian wasn’t even breathing. Finally, it seemed to slow down to a degree. Her lower lip quivered, “I haven’t heard from… I’m scared that… My _Vanguard_.”

Hawthorne nodded. It had taken her a minute in the beginning to recognize the Guardian as a Hunter. She wore no cloak, so Hawthorne had to guess the status from the way Haru moved and fought. If she was a Hunter that meant the infamous Cayde-6 was her Vanguard. Based on the broken look on her face, Cayde-6 must have been one hell of a Vanguard. The thought of his loss alone had this small Guardian nearly hyperventilating.

“Hey, hey.” Hawthorne set her hand on Haru’s back firmly, “Close your eyes and calm down. Breathe. Focus on my hand.”

Haru listened. It was a trick Devrim and Mark used to use on her all the time when she was a child. Sometimes, she’d get worked up over something. At one point, nearly anything would set her off. Closing her eyes though, focusing on each breath and the strength of the firm hand on her back always calmed her.

From the look on Haru’s face, it was working for her too. Her features had softened and the heat radiating off her cooled. Hawthorne’s hand was still hot from where she was touching the Guardian, but that was baseline from what she knew.

“Better?” Hawthorne questioned and Haru nodded. She slowly opened her eyes and gave Hawthorne a thankful smile. It didn’t quite reach her sad eyes, but the fact that the effort to show it was given she took that as a small win. “Listen, death comes for us all. Even you Guardians have an end date. I think all of you tend to forget that sometimes.” She set her hands on the wood railing, “You can’t let the fear of it take ahold of you though. Don’t let it distract you. The name of the game is _focus_. You have to focus on what needs focusing on, and right now that’s _stopping_ the Red Legion. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Haru whispered.

Hawthorne offered her a smile, “Good. Because death comes for the Cabal too, and we’re gonna make _damned_ sure it comes for _them_ before any of _us_.”


End file.
